Man won’t stand up to dad who mistreats girlfriend.
Dear Abby:
I have been with my boyfriend, “Jake,” for a year and a half. To put it mildly, his dad does not like me. He has never thought I was good enough for his son and he doesn’t like the fact that I have a daughter from an earlier relationship. He thinks I’m interested in Jake only for his money, even though I work a fulltime job and Jake and I share everything equally, except my daughter’s expenses. I pay for those myself.
When we attend family gatherings, his dad refuses to say hello to me. He does, however, make derogatory remarks about me to Jake. It’s hurtful and demeaning.
I have tried bringing it up to Jake, and he agrees. But he will not address it with his dad. Can you help? Disliked in Massachusetts Dear Disliked:
I don’t know how serious Jake is about you, but if he was in love with you and planned on marrying you, he would insist that, at the very least, his father treat you with respect.
I can only hope that your child isn’t on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, because if that’s happening — for both of your sakes — I’m advising you to end the romance.
Dear Abby:
I have been married to the love of my life for 21 years. He has helped me raise my two children to adulthood.
My problem started a year and a half ago, when my grandson was born. I live 750 miles from my daughter and have a standing invitation to see them as often as I want (every three to four months). It makes more sense for me to travel to see them than the reverse.
I have always invited my husband to come with me, but he refuses. He now has given me an ultimatum: I can see them no more than twice a year or he will divorce me. What do you say, Abby? Dumbstruck in Maine Dear Dumbstruck:
I say you have three choices — either work this out with the help of a marriage counselor, see your daughter and grandson only twice a year or start talking to a lawyer. I have a hunch there’s more going on here than your letter revealed — and whether or not your husband agrees to counseling, you should go.
Dear Abby:
I am an older woman who has been dating a very nice man for seven months. I’m fashionable and take pride in my appearance. While my friend is clean and neat, he wears a baseball cap with all of his clothes — even his dress suits.
Since he is good in so many ways, should I ignore this one quirk? Fashionable in Pennsylvania
Dear Fashionable:
If this gentleman has only one quirk that bothers you, you might be wise to consider that his attire is a reflection only on himself and not you.