The need to floss isn’t the first old wives’ tale to go up in smoke
Another old wives’ tale bites the dust.
Last week, the story made headlines:
“Flossing doesn’t help you much.”
“Flossing may not work — whaaaat?”
“Flossing benefits are overblown.” “Flossing is nonsense.” The federal government finally admitted that there’s no proof that flossing between your teeth has any medical benefits. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has deleted flossing from its guidelines of recommended dental care.
Woody Allen, of all people, probably saw it coming.
In his 1973 comedy, “Sleeper,” Allen goes into the hospital for a routine ulcer operation — and wakes up 200 years later. He’s visibly upset, and a doctor tries to calm him down. Handing Allen a cigarette …
Doctor: “Here, smoke this, and be sure you get the smoke deep down into your lungs.” Allen: “I don’t smoke.” Doctor: “It’s tobacco. It’s one of the healthiest things for your body.”
Later, two doctors are dismayed when Allen requests wheat germ and organic honey for breakfast …
First doctor: “Those were the charmed substances that some years ago were felt to contain life-preserving properties.
Second doctor: “You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or hot fudge?”
First doctor: “Those were thought to be unhealthy,
precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.”
Let’s be specific about what the government now admits about flossing. The government is saying that there’s no proof, no scientific, quantitative studies proving that flossing helps prevent tooth decay, gingivitis or anything else. Because of that, the government has stopped recommending flossing.
The government is NOT saying that flossing is harmful. It’s not saying that flossing is ineffective and worthless. Just that there’s no proof that flossing is an important part of your dental health regimen.
The government probably just “shortcircuited” its reason for recommending flossing since 1979.
The American Dental Association still says that flossing is important. It works. Don’t be put off by the stories you read last week.
So it’s probably incorrect to label flossing an “old wives’ tale” — unless the old wife has spinach stuck in her teeth and has bad breath that could knock King Kong off the Empire State Building.
I’m a big tooth brusher, and I’m going to continue flossing. I don’t need a scientific study to tell me that flossing removes fermenting food that’s lodged between my teeth. I can see the benefits of flossing when I spit in the sink.
I need to stop eating bagels with poppy seeds.
Everybody has nooks and crannies and pockets in their teeth where food collects. My editor says she flosses because “I have a space in my teeth that holds enough food to feed a family of four.”
Still, is anybody surprised that what we’ve been told our whole lives … turns out to be wrong?
I didn’t eat Hershey bar— my favorite — as a teenager because I was told that chocolate causes acne. It turns out that chocolate does NOT cause acne. Now I look back at high school as my “lost years.”
I grew up waiting an hour to swim after eating. Totally unnecessary.
I was told to button my winter coat, and don’t go out with wet hair or I’d catch a cold. Completely untrue.
There was a movie in the ’30s called “Reefer Madness.” Smoke one joint and you’ll be jumping out of a window by 10 p.m. Now you can buy marijuana for fun in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon and Washington. And 24 states recognize the medical benefits of marijuana.
Maybe we should start a category called “new wives’ tales,” where we fix old bad information.
Like we know that cigarettes are bad for you. They cause cancer and emphysema and gum disease and make your skin all wrinkly and you smell like an ashtray. Cigarettes are the only product that if you use them properly — will kill you. Cigarettes are the worst, right?
Not always. You think advertising claims today are a little, let’s say, exaggerated?
Back in the 1950s, famous athletes and celebrities posed for ads with a cigarette hanging from their mouths and smoke curling to the ceiling.
“Say hey, these Chesterfields are great!” — Willie Mays.
“My cigarette is the mild cigarette, that’s why Chesterfield is my favorite.” — Ronald Reagan.
“The baseball man’s cigarette, Chesterfield.” — Joe DiMaggio.
“I’ve been a two-packa-day man for 15 years. Chesterfield is best for me.” — Perry Como.
As crazy as Como’s ad was, some were even more over the top.
“As your dentist, I would recommend Viceroys.”
“20,679 physicians say Luckies are less irritating.”
One ad showed a newborn baby with the message, “Before you scold me, Mom, maybe you’d better light up a Marlboro.”
If a Mom is scolding a newborn, Mom doesn’t need a cigarette. Baby needs somebody to call Child Protective Services.
We get it, cigarettes, once thought good for you … are bad for you. We’re smarter now.
But I’m still holding out hope for hot fudge.