NO-LOSE SITUATION
Oh, boy! No Cowboys! Seeing stars, and it’s the Dallas helmet decal I’m referring to there, everywhere we turned, with the Cowboys’ insufferable fans acting lordly while they clogged up our bars and restaurants, would have sucked the life out of enjoying this rare opportunity to host a Super Bowl. Although the merchants, ticket profiteers and the gaggle of traitors who reside in our midst could have celebrated the ’Boys being in town, for the rest of us … yikes.
Also, this way Texans fans can still act superior, forgetting for the moment what Brock Osweiler put them through this season while superrookie Dak Prescott chased history. No matter how much more entertaining than the Texans the Cowboys may have been in 2016, and never mind all the stuff Dallas has been able to celebrate in the dark and distant past, one unassailable fact must be pointed out: Since the Texans joined the NFL 15 seasons ago, they have won more playoff games — three vs. two — than the Cowboys have. Hah. The good news for the football purist, a person who roots for a compelling matchup with major big-picture significance above all else, losing the Cowboys came at no price. Houston’s third Super Bowl, whomever prevails in the conference championship games Sunday, offers the potential at least to be a doozy on the field with grand enough ramifications to make roving hordes of press-box pundits salivate. No bad matchup is possible because of the gravitas of three of the still-standing franchises and the gun-slinging mentality of the fourth.
The Atlanta Falcons may be the poor relations in the bunch, having played in only one previous Super Bowl — and, yes, they played very badly in it — but this year’s Matt Ryan-led team, choreographed by former Texans offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan, couldn’t be more of a hoot to watch. Goodness knows, NRG Stadium needs some airing out. There wasn’t a game played on our home field this fall in which either participant scored more than 27 points.
The average per offense was barely over 18. The Falcons, Packers, Patriots and Steelers are all capable of putting that up in a half. Atlanta did, in fact, score more in a half 12 times this season and managed at least 27 on five occasions. A year earlier, they totaled 28 on Romeo Crennel’s Texans defense in less than 35 minutes, issuing fair warning of the firestorm to come.
If I’m Bill O’Brien, I’m demanding the Falcons occupy the Texans locker room on game day if they make it here, just to let a little of the gold dust rub off, although I’m told both teams will instead be ensconced in the auxiliary accommodations.
Don’t get me wrong. Hosting the Cowboys would have been an asset from a purely football standpoint. Dak, Dez and Zeke are delightful entertainers, to be sure, and Dallas would have been playing in a Super Bowl for a record ninth time while chasing a possible record-tying sixth championship. But the Patriots and the Steelers can cover the former — they’re both sitting on eight, too — and Pittsburgh, if it can end a long, bad run in Foxborough on Sunday, will have the opportunity to extend a record it already holds by securing a seventh title.
A minor sore spot that, though. Two of the Steelers’ six were won at the expense of the most celebrated Houston teams ever, the Oilers of 197879. So, do we really want the Steelers showing up, then dredging up a lot of bad memories for us old-timers? In the end, it’s a personal decision. For firstgeneration Texans fans, Pittsburgh’s slate is clean.
Not a single current Steeler save for James Harrison, the oldest defensive player in the NFL at 38, was alive when the Oilers twice fell in Three Rivers Stadium and he hadn’t celebrated a birthday when the first of those AFC Championship Games were played.
As for the Packers, they needn’t apologize for ranking a notch below Pittsburgh and New England in collective Super Bowl lore. Having them gunning for the Lombardi Trophy not long after we celebrated the 50th anniversary of Vince Lombardi coaching the Pack to the first Super Bowl championship would be cool beans in its own right. In addition, with a victory they’d become the fourth team with as many as five, a substantial accomplishment.
Green Bay-Pittsburgh would bring together teams already in possession of 10 championships, an unprecedented number. Green Bay-New England would match the current record of eight, set by the Packers (three) and the Steelers (five) when they squared off in Super Bowl LVI. The Patriots’ Tom Brady, of course, would be trying to become the first quarterback to win a fifth Super Bowl. Ben Roethlisberger would be trying to join a select group — he’d be the fifth — with as many as three titles.
For us statistics geeks, this is heavenly stuff. But even the most casual of fans, the person who watches the game for the nachos, the commercials and the always hoped-for halftime wardrobe malfunction, any combination of Brady, Roethlisberger, Ryan or Aaron Rodgers would demand a modicum of attention. Combined, counting the postseason, they have thrown for more than 18,500 yards with 148 touchdown passes.
Rodgers’ numbers over his last nine games are 3,107 yards — Osweiler had 3,323 in 17 games — 24 touchdowns and one pick, which didn’t occur until Sunday in Arlington. That’s sick. And Brady was sitting on two interceptions for the entire season until the Texans unexpectedly got him twice. Matty Ice? Forty-one TDs and seven picks, a ratio previously exceeded by a quarterback who threw for at least 25 touchdowns by only Brady and Rodgers (and one season, go figure, Nick Foles).
Brady-Rodgers would be only the second battle between almost-certain first-ballot Hall-of-Famers in the last 24 Super Bowls, with Peyton Manning vs. Drew Brees in XLIV being the other. But Roethlisberger-Ryan hardly would rate as the worst-ever consolation prize.
Houston, we got lucky.