DEAR ABBY:
Grieving mom has just cause to ignore dead baby's father.
Dear Abby:
My son “Jake” was born last June. His father was a good friend who I thought I loved and that he loved me. The day I told him I was pregnant, he disappeared.
Our baby boy just passed away from SIDS. I’m struggling with Jake’s loss and planning his funeral while taking care of my 5-year-old son. Jake’s father had his mother call and threaten me. She said, “His name better not be listed anywhere in the obituary!”
I’m at a loss about how to deal with both of them. After the funeral I’m not sure if I want to see either one of them ever again. Any advice? Grieving in Colorado
Dear Grieving:
I am so sorry for the loss. Yes, I do have a word of advice. Even in the midst of your grief, you are thinking clearly. Why would you ever want contact with either of those despicable people? Write them off and go on with your life.
Dear Abby:
My co-worker and I have been seeing each other for a while now. We are both married. I am separated while “Chip” is still at home with his wife and kids. He says he plans on leaving his family.
I have decided I don’t want him after all. I have told him to stay with his wife, but Chip keeps wanting to “talk.” We see each other at work every day. It’s uncomfortable.
I’ve been looking for another job. I feel ashamed, and I don’t want to be the “other woman.” I don’t know whether to wait for him or just walk out. Lost in Arizona
Dear Lost:
Chip knows you are ambivalent, which is why he wants to keep talking to you. If you meant what you wrote, that you do not want to be the other woman, then end the affair once and for all and — as you put it — just walk out.
Dear Abby:
I have worked in various retail places for many years. I am surprised at how some parents allow their children to run amok in stores.
When this happens, and there’s a danger of them running into tables and customers, should the employees say something to the children? Or should they notify the manager about the disruptive children and let the manager talk to the parents or the children? Should it be announced over the intercom that children need to stay with their parents?
What’s the best way to handle this common problem? A place of business is not a playground. Paying Customer
Dear Paying Customer:
If you take it upon yourself to “correct” the inattentive parent, the person is sure to become defensive. A better way to handle it would be to point it out to the manager of the establishment and let him or her deal with it.
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