What’s grandparent’s role in supporting changing goals, dreams?
Joey wanted to be a firefighter. He was only 4, but he was attracted, initially, to the sirens and the big red trucks.
Because we could find nothing on the market, his grandfather and I built a fire truck headboard, complete with round headlights, silver trim, a painted windshield and bright red background.
In the interim, we found books on firefighters at the library, made cookies to take to the nearby fire station and for the holidays, took baskets of fruit — to say “thank you” to the city’s firefighters and for an excuse for Joey to get a better look at the men and women who worked in the department and the equipment they used.
As soon as Joey got old enough, his Grandpa and I began asking questions like, “What do you have to do to become a firefighter?” “Do you need to go to college?” and if he didn’t know, we’d help him find out and make a plan. This exercise accomplished two things: he learned where to go on the internet to find career information and he learned the importance of making a plan, to map the journey he’d have to take to reach his goal ... kind of like playing the “Candy Land” game.
By age 10, he was involved in karate and, once in high school, Joey decided automotive mechanics was his thing.
However, once he graduated, rather than pursuing more skills and a job in auto mechanics, Joey did an about-face and enrolled in emergency medical service and firefighter courses at the local community college. His goal? It had been there all along — to become a firefighter.
Here are some interesting factoids: Due to longer life expectancies, 75 percent of those born in 2000 can expect to have at least one grandparent still living when they reach age 30, when they are beginning their careers. In addition, close to 60 percent of older adults will have at least one grandchild, and 80 percent of middle-aged and older adults are grandparents.
As grandparents, I see our role is helping these grand darlings pursue their passions ... period. Whether it’s serving others, following in a role model’s footsteps or departing on journeys into professions no one in the family knows anything about, as grandparents, we should cheer them as they go after their goals, whatever they may be.
I also believe in creating related experiences, if possible, using resources such as the library, area museums, summer camps that focus on their goals or finding professionals in their chosen jobs to meet and speak with.
In taking this supporting role as a grandparent, be prepared for change, sometimes on a regular basis. Young people are a wonderful kind of fickle when it comes to their interests and dreams. You often have to be super-agile to keep up.
One week, they may want to be astronauts. The next, wedding cake decorators. Whatever their interest, however, it’s pretty easy to cheer from the sidelines and provide encouraging activities.
In my role as a journalist, I hear many stories from professionals about how one high school teacher inspired them to go into medicine or how one neighbor helped pave the way into the engineering profession.
It’s sometimes difficult to pinpoint the motivation for a child’s interest. Maybe it is their Little League coach who was a clergy, or it might have been an inspirational talk they heard that led them into public service.
For my oldest granddaughter, her goal — from early elementary to middle school — was to become a teacher. In middle school, she became focused on performing and/or teaching dance. As a junior, when students begin thinking about which college to attend, she remained interested in a career in dance.
The summer of her junior year, however, a mission trip experience changed her direction.
After spending a week working with and teaching underserved children, she decided to pursue a degree in education with a specialization in reading because, as she said, “If a kid can read, that kid can learn anything.”
She also specified she wanted to teach in underserved neighborhoods “...because these children’s lives are not easy and they need so much to be able to succeed.”
As grandparents, our jobs are comparatively easy — love them, encourage them and lift them up when they go through times of self-doubt or disappointment.
The main thing is to emphasize your main goal is for them to love whatever they choose to do and whatever they choose to pursue, you’ll support them all the way.