DEAR ABBY: Parents blame teen’s friends for underage drinking episode.
Dear Abby:
My 15-year-old daughter, “Jenny,” went to a sleepover last Friday with her two best friends from school, “Penny” and “Ginger.” Penny’s parents went out and left the girls alone. They drank some beer. Jenny and Ginger were sober, but Penny also drank some hard liquor and got very drunk. I found out about it the following Monday after Penny texted my daughter and Ginger to tell them how upset and disappointed her parents were and that they were demanding letters of apology from all three girls.
I thought it was over the top but realized Jenny was in the wrong. That same day Jenny wrote them an email with a heartfelt apology for disrespecting everyone by drinking in their house, for drinking their beer without permission and for allowing their daughter to get drunk (not being a true friend and trying harder to stop her).
Now, the fifth day after the email was confirmed received, my daughter is disappointed that it was never acknowledged. Penny’s parents have been known to be dramatic in past dealings with other students and parents. Will you advise me on what I should do? I feel I should let it go and let Jenny figure out how she should choose her friends. She has ditched a friend who wasn’t a good influence on her without us forcing her to. Jenny’s Mom in Canada Dear Mom:
There is plenty of blame to go around. Penny’s parents shouldn’t have left three teenagers alone with liquor available. While I can’t blame them for being upset after coming home and finding their daughter smashed and the other two “tiddly,” they were wrong to expect Jenny and Ginger to have prevented their daughter from misbehaving.
I do not agree that asking for a written apology was over the top. And under the circumstances, I don’t think your daughter’s letter needed acknowledgment. Let it go, with a firm lecture to your daughter about underage drinking and the consequences that will follow if you find out it happens again.