20 questions: Getting to know your grandchildren better
This past week, my grandson Walt — a high school sophomore — enlisted my help for an English assignment. After I had settled in a chair opposite him and his computer, he broke the news: he had 20 questions. I’m sharing this experience because we spent a delightful, 90-minute conversation, times that have grown less frequent as he has grown busier as he’s gotten older ... and as we went through the 20 questions, I jotted down some questions of my own, so I scheduled a time with Walt for next weekend.
His questions delved into my childhood and school years and really made me think. Too many years have passed since those days, but as I related my experiences, I noticed his interest in the differences between his childhood and my own. Here are some of the inquiries: 1. What was the atmosphere in your home growing up?
2. Describe your neighbors and your neighborhood.
3. Did your family ever face financial issues? If so, how did you know?
4. Describe some of the scariest things in your childhood.
5. Who were your role models as a young child?
6. What recreational activities did you enjoy with your family?
7. Who was your best friend in elementary school? High school? 8. What was your first job? 9. Who were your role models in high school?
10. Did you have strong beliefs as a child?
As I answered his questions, Walt periodically stopped me to ask his own questions. He found it odd that families visited friends on Sunday afternoons, that movies only cost kids 20 cents and that post-WWII Texas saw high percentages of church affiliations.
At the end of our question-and-answer period, Walt had taken four pages of notes on his computer, but he said he had learned a lot and was glad we had worked on the assignment together so we could get to know each other better. My sentiments exactly.
So, the next rainy day you share with your older grandchildren, you may use the questions above for them to ask you – and/or you may want to use the following questions to ask your grandchildren:
1. What is your favorite TV program and why do you like it?
2. Tell me about your best friend and why you like them?
3. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?
4. What would be your dream job when you’re older?
5. If you could do anything you wanted for an entire day, what would you do?
6. Who are two of your heroes?
7. What scares you most? What makes you happiest?
8. What is the most fun you’ve ever had? 9. What are you best at doing? 10. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be and why?
Even though you may live next door or under the same roof, this time of sharing with your grandchildren is tremendously rewarding — first, because it’s an excuse to spend quality time talking together. Secondly, you both are sharing thoughts and details from your lives, and finally, times like these may make it easier for your grandchild to confide with you about aspects in their lives they may not feel comfortable sharing with anyone else.
Most of all, though, talking with your grandchildren assures them of your interest and their support, both growing more important through the preteens and teen years. Taking time to sit and listen to them is also one more way to demonstrate (without saying the words) your unconditional caring and love for this precious next generation.