Community’s sunny surface hides neighborhood grudges.
Dear Abby:
We recently decided to retire and move to a 55-plus community. We researched and visited several, and bought a home in one with about 5,000 residents and a lot of senior activities.
After closing, we got a rude surprise. Quite a few residents seem to have a grudge about at least one other person in the community. We’ve always made friends easily. What can we do or say to be able to be friends with neighbors who have grudges against each other? Not Taking Sides
Dear Not Taking Sides:
Do not allow yourselves to be shanghaied into an exclusive relationship with anyone who tries to blackmail you this way. If your neighbors can’t get along with each other, let it be their problem and see them separately. And when they put down the people they don’t like, change the subject.
Dear Abby:
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and are in a committed relationship. Yesterday he told me he isn’t sexually satisfied. I was shocked. I thought our sex life was good overall. However, he says he feels he’s doing most of the work and I’m not “adventurous” enough. He’s not looking for anything crazy, but I have limited experience and lack confidence in this area. How do I get my confidence up and meet his needs? Unsure In Illinois
Dear Unsure:
Have a talk with your boyfriend. Tell him you are glad that he was honest with you about his feelings. Then ask what he meant by “adventurous” and what he would like from you. It could be something as simple as you initiating the sexual encounters more often. But if it’s not, it will be the beginning of an important conversation.
Dear Abby:
I received an invitation to a “belly and bells shower.” The bride is expecting (belly) and her wedding shower is included (bells). Do I buy two gifts? She’s registered at two sites, one for baby and one for bridal. Confused In Michigan
Dear Confused:
Yes, two gifts are what’s being requested. What those gifts should be is up to you — although you will get some idea of what the young couple will need by visiting the registries. The rule of etiquette is that you should receive a wedding invitation. If you choose to attend, another gift will be in order, so don’t put away your checkbook.