Being a good conversationalist aids job search
What does being a good conversationalist have to do with being an effective networker? Everything.
At some point in your career, you have heard the term networking mentioned with regard to job search. It’s no surprise that when people try to network and end up with less than expected results, the impression is that networking works for only a few instead of everyone.
The art of having a rich discussion has nothing to do with age, it’s about being a good conversationalist. As older job candidates approach new job opportunities, question your style in meeting people and your approach to gathering information.
The definition of good conversationalist is a person who enjoys and contributes to good conversation; an interesting person in conversation. In other words, someone who is active in a conversation. One of the habits that people tend to develop during their career is focusing on the work at hand rather than time spent on developing communication skills.
It’s not that people raise their hands and volunteer to be a bad conversationalist, but it can be a lifelong habit of just not paying attention to the person in front of them.
A newly hired manager once talked about their experience in working on a project with an older co-worker. When they met for the first time to discuss the opportunity, the co-worker dominated the meeting, leaving the manager to listen and interject comments when possible. Instead of having a productive discussion where both participated in sharing ideas and planning, the manager left feeling disrespected, and worst of all, he perceived the older co-worker as being a know-itall with a closed mind.
The truth is, having a good conversation transcends age; it’s an art that takes practice in developing skills. It helps to recall what makes a good conversationalist. Think of someone who served as a mentor to you. What was it about their style of communication that influenced you? Most likely, they cared about you by sharing in a give-and-take conversation.
Being a good communicator will serve you throughout your career, and it’s doubtful you will ever hear a negative statement about a good conversationalist. The next time you consider a career move, think how you network and what you could do to make your efforts more effective.
Anyone can start becoming a better conversationalist with just a few changes.
1. Be genuine with what you convey to the other person. A good conversation is not a debate to win a point; it’s more about an exchange involving all your senses such as nonverbal language, eye contact and interest.
2. Share the conversation, aiming for a 50-50 balance of talking and listening. Talking too much will only leave the other person with a memory of how much you talked rather than what you said.
3. Be focused when talking and listening. Rarely can a person convey their interest in you when looking around the room to check out who is present.
4. Questions fuel good conversations, so use open-ended questions to help the other person talk. Avoid asking questions that could be answered with a simple “yes or no.”
5. Use the “WAIT” technique to help you internally monitor your actions when communicating with another person — Why Am I Talking? If you can’t come up with a good reason why you are talking, it might be a sign you are dominating the conversation.