Wife isn’t too keen on career change.
Dear Abby:
I am an older IT professional (58). I was part of a major layoff at the company I worked at for many years. I have not been able to find a job in the IT field since.
I’m an accomplished handyman with skills in most of the trades. The issue is, my wife is insistent that I get another job in IT — mostly for the benefits.
Older IT workers have a very hard time finding work in the field. I’d like to start a handyman company. If I start a handyman business, my wife, for the first time, would have to go from being a part-time worker at her job to full time to provide us with benefits. She has made it clear she does not want to work full time.
I think she’s being selfish. I’m not sure how to broach the subject without an argument ensuing. Help? — Switching Gears In New York
Dear Switching:
Expect an argument and be prepared for it. You are not responsible for having been laid off. It seems there is plenty of ageism in your field, and it isn’t surprising you can’t find a comparable job in IT.
You are fortunate to have both an alternative and the initiative to start a handyman business. Good handymen are hard to find, and your wife should make the effort to support you in what could be a successful endeavor. That’s what partners in life are supposed to do.
Dear Abby:
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years. He has three siblings, all in their 20s, none married.
Today I received a group email from his mom addressed to him, his father, his grandmother, all three siblings and their boyfriends/girlfriends (including me) asking for Christmas wish lists. She wants to know what we would like for Christmas and would like all of us to “reply all” on the email so everyone else will have ideas for Christmas presents.
I don’t know how to respond! I don’t want to appear greedy, but I do like the idea that she wants to get us all presents that we will like. Can you give me any suggestions on the best way to respond? — Perplexed In Alabama
Dear Perplexed:
Your boyfriend’s mother is a generous — and sensible — woman. She is soliciting ideas because she doesn’t want to waste her time or money buying something the recipient won’t like. Answer her question. Tell her what you would like, as long as it isn’t something that will break the bank. Your boyfriend can probably give you some hints about her budget. I suggest you talk to him about it.