Woman is pressured to tell friend of husband’s flirting.
Dear Abby:
I have been friends with “Caroline” for more than
20 years. Her husband is present when they visit us because they live out of state, and when I visit her, he is there. I have been married for 28 years, and my husband doesn’t join me when I visit Caroline.
Caroline travels worldwide for work. Her husband has family near me. One time, when he was in town and she was traveling, I invited him to meet me for dinner. He got the wrong idea and thought it was a date behind his wife’s back. She knew we were having dinner, but I never revealed to her that he made a pass at me that evening. I corrected him, explained I wasn’t trying to start a romance and emphasized I would never do that to my friend.
When I got home that night, my husband asked how dinner went, and I shared what happened. He took it personally. He felt disrespected and told me to tell Caroline. Others I have spoken to about this said don’t say anything. This happened a year or two ago.
My husband and I are now invited to the wedding of Caroline’s stepdaughter. My husband refuses to go because of what happened. He insists I should tell Caroline and explain why he isn’t coming.
I have no feelings whatsoever for her husband and would never engage in anything with him. Their marriage is already rocky. Both have had extramarital affairs, and he said he planned to divorce her last year but hasn’t. Should I tell Caroline what happened? — Covering Up
Dear Covering:
I see nothing positive to be gained by telling Caroline at this late date. It’s ancient history. Caroline already knows that her husband has cheated in the past. I do not think it would be helpful to rock the boat.