Thumbs up, down
Anthem for the economy? Queen B steps up; Texans star horns in; park ranger keeps cool.
In a scene straight out of a future documentary from liberal provocateur Michael Moore, President Donald Trump toured a Phoenix factory floor this week while the Guns N’ Roses version of “Live and Let Die” blared from loudspeakers. Lest you think the song choice was too on the nose, Moore may follow that with footage of U.S. Rep. Chip Roy saying we should reopen society and rely on herd immunity to fight the coronavirus outbreak. According to epidemiologists at Johns Hopkins, without a vaccine, more than half a million Americans would have to die before the nation could develop an effective herd immunity. That may still be OK for the Austin Republican, who told the Texas Tribune we need to secure an “overall net positive outcome.” Brutal balance sheet. Some 500,000 deaths out of 328 million people does indeed leave us in the black — a fitting color for all that mourning. Beyoncé and Tina Knowles Lawson are helping Houstonians get through the pandemic, the Chronicle reports. The songstress and her mom have teamed up to pay for COVID-19 testing and donated H-E-B gift cards and meal vouchers. Their #IDIDMYPART campaign urges the city’s black community to get tested to thwart the disproportionate burden of illness and death among African Americans. In a democracy, the government should provide enough testing, but in this case, we welcome the assistance of royalty to turn some rotten lemons into lemonade. Thanks, Queen B. We can see your halo. (She gets it from her mama.)
Like that perm from the ’80s, some hair salon mistakes have consequences. Dallas salon owner Shelley Luther was sentenced this week to seven days in jail after refusing to shut down Salon A La Mode in violation of Gov. Greg Abbott’s shelter-in-place orders. Her case highlights how seriously we should take protective health measures. Sure, nobody’s dyed getting their roots done during the pandemic, she could have shaved herself the trouble by apologizing to the judge and vowing to tame her wild hair and follow the law. Instead, she tore up the order and found herself under firm hold behind bars. The Texas Supreme Court soon cut her loose, prompting supporters cheering her release to liken her to slain Alamo heroes in a sign that read: “Remember the A La Mode.” U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz did just that Friday, when he flew from Houston to Dallas to get his first haircut in three months at Luther’s salon, where he was photographed donning a leopard print cape. We hoped his weeks in self-quarantine would keep him from aligning with social distancing scofflaws, but a leopard can’t change his spots. In space, no one can hear you scream. And in the digital space, apparently, no one can protect your blindside from J.J. Watt, the All-Pro Texans defensive end. The three-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year says he crashed about 20 Zoom calls last week. Instead of trying to wreak havoc in opposing backfields or squash unsuspecting quarterbacks, Watt arrived to brighten days and lift spirits sagging under the weight of coronavirus quarantines. Those who let him into their Zoom conferences — and who, except Titans fans, would say no? — got a chance to chat with Watt and get some encouragement. No need for any further review of the replay. The ruling on the field stands: J.J. Watt is a good guy to have in your huddle.
The Austin park ranger pushed into Lake Austin while telling a crowd to observe the city’s social-distancing guidelines deserves a thumbs-up for keeping his cool — in more ways than one. But Brandon Hicks, 25, who the Austin American-Statesman reported was charged with attempted assault on a public service worker and damage of city property in the incident, needs a douse of some hard cold reality. Staying 6 feet apart and wearing face masks are no one’s idea of fun, but the measures help keep us safe. Park rangers are frontline workers, not wet blankets. Get that straight or go jump in a lake.