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GOP officials mixed on Turner; a Republican firebrand mouths off; Rove joins Trump team.
Mayor Sylvester Turner’s decision to cancel the Texas GOP in-person convention was either “a prudent move” or a “political hack job,” depending on which Texas Republican you listen to. While U.S. Rep. Dan Crenshaw tweeted he was glad Turner made the call, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick took the odd step of slamming the mayor on Fox News, essentially for doing for Houston what Patrick himself had already done for his own precious hide. Like other GOP bigwigs, Patrick had planned to skip the Grand Old Pandemic convention and address the party faithful from afar through faithless video feed. Similarly disingenuous was state GOP Chairman James Dickey, who berated Turner for trying to “disenfranchise Republicans around the state” when secretly, he was probably laughing all the way to the bank. You see, this convention kerfuffle was less about principle and more about the Benjamins. The fact is Turner kept our friends in red out of the red. As Crenshaw put it in his tweet, thanks to Turner, the GOP is not “on the hook for half a million dollars for canceling the event” themselves.
Then again, maybe we’re being cynical. Maybe the Texas GOP does want to go ahead with an inperson, indoor convention for thousands of people as COVID-19 rages. If so, they could take up Montgomery County Judge Mark Keough’s offer to move the event there. In a video posted to Facebook Wednesday, Keough said the county is open for business and “would be great hosts” for the Republican gathering … “much like Republicans would be great hosts for the coronavirus,” Keough neglected to add. Naw, that would be cruel. We’re not calling GOP officials cruel. We’re just calling their bluff. Cruelty is a term reserved for others. As protesters took to the streets over the killing of George Floyd, conservative firebrand Steve Hotze left a voicemail for Gov. Greg Abbott regarding Houston. “I want to make sure that he has National Guard down here and they have the order to shoot to kill if any of these son-of-abitch people start rioting like they have in Dallas, start tearing down businesses — shoot to kill the son of a bitches. That’s the only way you restore order. Kill ’em … Thank you.” We guess his mama let him kiss her with that mouth as long as he minded his manners at the end. Hotze’s influence has waned of late, as the 21st century continues without him, but his calls still have sway with some in the GOP. Time to hang up.
With everything that's going on we missed the news recently that Republican strategist Karl Rove, who helped President George W. Bush win reelection, has been enlisted with Team Trump. Being Bush’s brain was hard enough. Anyone advising Trump must be a soul, a conscience and a spoken language interpreter of government intelligence reports the duly elected president can’t be bothered to read. Dubya poetically called his adviser “turd blossom,” after the flower that grows from a pile of cow dung. With Trump, Rove has his work cut out for him, but if he lives up to his nickname, he should have no trouble blooming. Either that’s a pancake for a roof or Whataburger just isn’t happy to see us anymore. Bought by some city slickers up in Chicago last year, the Texas eatery is doing away with its iconic A-shape roof for its new locations, going with design styles best described as Midwest flat and central plain. We’d say “get a rope” but what we really need is a good strong tent pole. The fast food chain plans to open more than a dozen restaurants this year and while it’s keeping the orange and white color scheme, the generic new look appears to be the price to pay for its expansion. “Sorry but that ain't Texan,” said one Twitter commentator. Just don’t mess with the spicy ketchup or we’ll really hit the roof.