Thumbs up, down
The GOP has fun in a newpolitical ad, and H-E-B does some geographic revisionism.
The joke is that Christopher Columbus discovered America the same way you “discover” your neighbor’s living room, but there is nothing funny about the genocide of Indigenous peoples. As we continue to re- evaluate how we honor historic figures, dealing with the legacy of colonialism is important, so kudos to the City Council for voting to recognize the second Monday in October as Indigenous Peoples’ Day, an alternative to Columbus Day. “This resolution does not aim to erase history or undo injustices, but it is an important step toward accuracy and inclusivity,” council member Robert Gallegos said. It’s been a long time coming. El Paso is used to getting ignored in Austin, used to being called “technically Texas” and used to early phone calls and other timing mishaps caused by the fact that Texans elsewhere can’t remember it’s so far west, it’s in a different time zone. But El Pasoans are proud to be under the Lone Star flag — or at least they thought they were. No greater authority than H-E-B has left the Sun City off the Texas map that graces some of its store brand Original Cola cans. A user on Reddit spotted the offending soft drink, which lops off the edge of the state somewhere around Sierra Blanca. A spokeswoman told the El Paso Times the design was adjusted to accommodate the nutrition label. Apparently, “adjusted” doesn’t mean resized. On smaller cans, it means amputating a city of more than 680,000 from the state’s iconic silhouette in the name of aesthetics. That rationale leaves us flat. Just so H-E-B doesn’t lop off El Chuco from Texas- shape tortilla chips, though. That’ll really give El Pasoans a chip on their shoulder.
Sticking to size, they say everything is bigger in Texas — including the federal fines. Blue Bell ice cream was hit recently with the largest criminal penalty in a food safety case in U. S. history over its 2015 listeria outbreak. The $17.25 million fine was part of the plea agreement over charges that the Brenham-based brand distributed adulterated ice cream products that led to the deaths of three people, according to Texas Monthly. The company, whose slogan is “we eat all we can and sell the rest,” was found to have multiple safety failings in their production process. Hopefully, other manufacturers will think twice about skimping on safety and the large fine will have its intended chilling effect. Speaking of cold, we still haven’t forgiven Arnold Schwarzenegger for playing Mr. Freeze in “Batman & Robin” and loading our minds with bad puns, but his latest actions may just thaw our hearts. “The Terminator” star is donating $250,000 to Cameron County to open polling sites that allow for social distancing and other safety measures. Home to Brownsville and Harlingen, the county has been one of the regions hardest hit by COVID-19 and this money will be invaluable in helping people safely cast their ballots. Who knew that when the Terminator told Sarah Connor “come with me if you want to live,” he was offering a ride to the polls.
With the pandemic putting superhero movies on ice (damn it, Freeze!), Congressman Dan Crenshaw is offering the next best thing by starring in a political ad that he described as “‘Mission Impossible’ meets ‘ The Avengers.’ ” That’s quite the high bar, and while Crenshaw does have the Nick Fury eye patch going, the nearly four-minute YouTube clip’s production values are more direct-tovideo than Hollywood epic. Still, the ad sees Crenshaw jumping out of a plane and recruiting other GOP candidates — Wesley Hunt, August Pfluger, Beth Van Duyne, Tony Gonzales and Genevieve Collins — on a mission to “save Texas.” The ad has some problems, including listing “Hispanic conservative” among Gonzales’ qualifications (is the Hulk listed as a green American?) and just like in real action blockbusters, the women barely speak, but overall it’s silly fun. Humor is priceless as we slog through this campaign season. We look forward to the Democrats’ “Biden v. Trump: Dawn of Justice” opening Nov. 3.