Surviving a close encounter with Prime van— and other October issues
About once a month, when it’s time for the “Houston Pet Peeves” segment on KUHF’s “Houston Matters,” I ask my Facebook friends to write my jokes — to grumble, amusingly, about stuff that’s making us crazy. This month, as usual, the kvetching cup runneth over.
Here, lightly edited, are some of the bits that made me laugh hardest.
Lisa Gray: Houston does everything in cars, so what took us so long to get drive-thru voting? And couldn’t we make it even better — say, by throwing in a free car wash?
Charlie Burrus: And fries? Randall Terrell: And have it at Prince’s?
Amy Ahlbrand Robinson: I miss Marvin Zindler.
James Glassman: I miss green anoles.
Jake M. Walker: Whatever happened to our blimp? Has anyone checked in with it since it moved to Akron, Ohio?
Susan Fordice: Everyone is hating on the Astros. I heard it from Donny Deutsch on “Morn
ing Joe” last week. And then in the Amy Coney Barrett hearing, Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) called the Astros “cheaters.” I’m not defending cheating, but does anyone really believe the Astros still deserve this?
Chris Valdez: Ozone Action Days. In October.
Carrie Meeks Stallwitz: Grocery stores that change the location of products once a quarter. Just when I figure out that coconut water resides with the health foods, they move it to be with the Gatorade!
Alecia Lawyer: The tiny folded napkins in to-go packs. They’re useless and actually stick to your fingers.
Susan Schmaeling: The phrase “new normal.”
Melissa Noriega: Articles about making our breakdowns productive. Give me a break (down).
Susan Barber: When people blow, rake, sweep and pour yard debris into storm drains.
Monte Large: a) When cars and trucks are called “vehicles”; b) When vehicles are parked across the sidewalk in the driveways of all these new townhouses.
MT Filley: Facebook friends who nag you to copy/paste silly quizzes or challenges from their pages to yours. Should we spam our friends’ pages?
Dennis Cass: Agreed. It’s even worse when they throw in an insult: “I bet not even one in a hundred people care enough about this starving puppy to share this.” They’re saying that 99 percent of their friends are horrible people?
Anne Hayden: Why is it that Facebook will show ads for things that I looked at on Amazon three minutes ago, yet it can’t figure out that I already voted — even though I posted that fact to Facebook?
Andrea Terrill: Harrisvotes.com isn’t optimized for phone use. It offers a poll locator based on your current position but then shows everything on a really small screen.
Mario A. Salinas: Voting thirdparty in this election — that’s like buying a prom dress, getting ready and driving to the prom, only to sit in your car in the parking lot.
Larry Sides: Candidate signs for Lizzie Fletcher keep making me think of the Thin Lizzie song “The Boys Are Back in Town.”
Elizabeth Chapman: A happy gripe: Itwas hard to find a parking spot for early voting.
Nancy Cooper: Houston needs its own Nathan Apodaca.
Steve Gilbert: How come Brays Bayou and North Braeswood can’t be spelled the same?
Deborah Quinn Hensel: A residential street between two main thoroughfares is not a highway. The speed limit is not 65.
Shelley Rice: Driving at only the speed limit here is terrifying.
Lisa Morales: Howmany of us have survived a close encounter with a Prime delivery van?
CarolynWhite: People who stop at intersections far into crosswalks or past the line.
Paula Murphy: Can we please find a way to stop saying “right?” at the end of every sentence? It’s annoying, right?
Raj Mankad: Coming back to Houston after a month in Utah, I was struck by howabsurdly alive Houston is. Plants threaten to overtake your home if you leave them alone for a few weeks. And the bugs! I try to tell myself that bugs are a reminder that we have not rendered our home so toxic that life cannot take root and thrive in its crevices. They welcomed me back.
Monica Flores Richart: There are no women hosts on any of public media’s local political programming.
Evan Mintz, in high dudgeon: a) The squirrels in my garden. b) Why am I paying for a gigabit internet connection at home that keeps dropping my Zoom calls? c) People who put too many campaign yard signs in their yard. We get it: You like your candidate. But do you really need three signs and a flag to get the point across? d) When I keep getting mailers from a candidate I’m absolutely not voting for. Part of me relishes their waste of campaign dollars. But please stop.
James Glassman, outdudgeoning even Mintz: a) Christmas decorations going up already at Highland Village. b) That fake space shuttle at Johnson Space Center. c) That Stephen Fox doesn’t have a podcast. d) That John Nova Lomax doesn’t have a podcast. e) Impermeable ground west of the Addicks and Barker reservoirs. f) People who paint Houston murals but aren’t from Houston. g) Halloween costumes with name tags. Try harder.