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COVID scariest of all; decorations no treat for HOA or police; plenty of Lone Star haunts.
Halloween is having a rough go of it this year. Pandemic concerns have left the holiday (which, if not our favorite, is in our Top 666), scrambling for relevance as fear of COVID-19 has most of us already walking around in masks. While some Texas counties have banned trickor-treating, at least the tradition hasn’t been canceled in Houston. Officials are asking everyone to be careful, though, and maintain social distancing. With that in mind and in keeping with the Halloween spirit, may we suggest a 12-foot skeleton arm handing out candy, or perhaps a T-shirt gun loaded with popcorn balls. Sure, Mayor Sylvester Turner has the more practical recommendation of leaving pre-packaged candy bags on a table outside, but what’s the fun in that?
Then again, a little too much Halloween fun can get you in trouble. A Richmond homeowners association had a bone to pick with Angela Nava after she decorated her front yard with poledancing skeletons plying their trade at “The Candy Shop.” Most of her neighbors enjoy the humerus display, Nava told Chron.com, but that didn’t keep her HOA from sending a letter telling her she had 30 days to take it down because the skeletons were “offensively positioned” and didn’t belong in “a family-friendly neighborhood.” The HOA sounds like a pain in the neck. True, the skeletons are stripped down to nothing, but it’s just the beauty of the human body, and tibia honest, if you’ve seen one coccyx, you’ve seen them all.
Skeleton strip clubs get you a letter from your HOA; fake massacre scenes get a visit from the cops. A Texas artist apparently did too good of a job on his decorations, prompting a call from the Dallas police to investigate what appeared to be a body on the roof with a machete through its head, a man face down on the sidewalk with a chainsaw through his back and an unfortunate soul whose head was crushed by a safe. Throw in a wheelbarrow full of body parts and you’ve got a gory crime scene that would make Michael Myers blush. A spokesperson for the Dallas Police Department told NBC News that officers were called to the home after receiving complaints, but no citation was given. Apparently, you can’t disturb the peace, but you’re free to disturb your neighbors. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is very much alive, but his political career may be part of the walking dead. Paxton, who is already under indictment on felony securities fraud charges, is facing the haunting possibility of a criminal investigation after top aides accused him of bribery and abuse of office. Granted, the AG was already indicted when voters re- elected him in 2018, but going up against a popular GOP opponent in the primary may bury his future aspirations. Enter Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush, who according to the Texas Tribune is keeping his options open as donors encourage him to run against the beleaguered Paxton. If Bush does run for attorney general, that mysterious sound you hear will be a sigh of relief from the Capitol. Word around the campfire is that other top state officials fear a Bush challenge would leave them without a ghost of a chance. Finally, while there’s no truth to GOP allegations that the dead are voting, Texas is the most haunted state in the country, according to no less a paranormal authority than the gaming website SlotSource.com. Texans have experienced 6,845 ghostly sightings since 2005, or 465 sightings per year, reports Chron.com, topping California and proving it’s not just the living who are trading the Golden State for Texas.
So, boo, y’all! Have a safe and happy Halloween from the Thumbs.