‘Being present’ isn’t as easy as it sounds.
“Be present” sounds like a very simple and basic directive.
But true presence can be elusive.
I know for myself, I can easily spend the majority of my day prepping for what’s next. The next appointment, task, project — the next day. I like the idea of being present, but what can I say, I have a lot to do.
Who doesn’t?
Of course, planning is necessary. But if we’re being honest, many of us likely spend more time anticipating what’s next than is ultimately useful. Then, if we’re not careful, we miss out on the joy and beauty of all the little things that we’re inclined to mentally fast-forward through and even find our destinations disappointing and dull.
(Dwelling on the past and fixating on random mental dramas are common dark holes, too.)
The casualty of all this mind wandering is the present moment. We miss out on the vitality and preciousness of now, which is actually all there ever is. When you think about it, everything outside of this very moment is just a mental projection. It’s all a film we run in our heads while the world goes on around us.
Only now is tangible and pulsing with life. Only now is where real possibilities and opportunities lie.
That being said, I’ve never found telling myself “OK Marci, be present” to do an ounce of good.
It’s because this can’t just be a mental thing.
I’ll explain.
Author Eckhart Tolle suggests that you can determine how present you are by asking this question: Is there joy, ease and lightness in what I’m doing right now?
If the answer is an unequivocal yes, then by all means, carry on.
But anything less than an enthusiastic “heck yes” warrants a pause.
There are a number of ways to approach what comes next. My preference is to tune
into my body. This starts with softening obvious excess tension (reliably in my face, shoulders and belly) and then venturing further within to feel inner sensation.
To get a sense for what I mean, consider this: If I were to ask if your hands are still attached, without looking, how would you know?
By feeling the sensation in your hands, right?
When I talk about feeling inner sensation, it’s the same idea.
Stop to witness the energy — the feeling — inside your body. I suggest setting an intention to feel within, then wherever you detect sensation is great. In other words, there’s no need to specifically tune into your hands or belly or anywhere else. Just be with whatever arises and stay there for a moment — or longer.
This practice is helpful when you notice you’re checked out, and beyond that, too.
Body awareness keeps us present. It roots us to the moment, so it’s a valuable backdrop all the time. Having a constant(ish) connection with inner-body sensation keeps us from getting swept away by our tendencies toward anticipation, regret and general overthinking. It’s continuous access to now.
So, play with this!
For starters, tune into sensation often. Get out of your head and into your body. No thinking. Just feeling. The more you do it, the more fluid it becomes.
You might take a moment to try it right now.
There’s no time like the present.
Marci Izard Sharif is an author, yoga teacher, meditation facilitator, and mother. In Feeling Matters, she writes about self-love, sharing self-care tools, stories, and resources that center around knowing and being kind to yourself.