Expert: Parents should watch students closely
Return to campus after a year mostly learning from home is rife with potential for anxiety and depression
It took time for students to adjust to online learning. It’ll also take them time to adapt to learning in classrooms, according to an expert on education counseling who is advising parents to be on the lookout for signs of anxiety and depression in their kids.
Classrooms provide a safe space for students to be themselves and be surrounded by others their age, said Rebecca Farrell, the youth and family program coordinator for the Central Texas chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The organization is the largest grassroots mental health group in the nation.
“The school classroom environment allows for basic physical contact,” Farrell said. “It allows peers to be able to communicate in their own language and understand each other through eye contact and touching. And it also allows them to not focus so much in their head.”
After spending a year doing online learning as schools closed down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, students who have returned to their campuses are having to relearn how to interact with one another, and some may get discouraged by not being able to seamlessly go back to in-person learning.
Learning from home for a year deprived students from the emotional validation they were accustomed to getting from going to school, Farrell said, which affected their neurological ability to regulate their emotions.
“And so, if they’re back in school, there’s anxiety and depression fostered by several types of environmental factors and social factors, such as, ‘Do I wear a mask? Do I not wear a mask?’” Farrell said. “’Am I going to catch one of the variants of COVID? Am I going to give it to somebody? Am I able to concentrate back in the school classroom?’”
The stress the pandemic placed on students is overlapping with the pressure they already face during their years in schooling, which is the time when kids are developing their identities, Farrell said.
The key to supporting students through this transition, Farrell said, is fostering a foundation of emotional validation in the home. She suggests parents set about half an hour a day after their kids come home from school to talk about anything that isn’t school related, followed by another half hour to discuss school — which she likes to call a “happy hour.”
“It’s really time for them to unwind and just be able to escape from the school day,” Farrell said. “It’s quality time with one another to get to know each other. Maybe have date nights or just regular conversations in which whatever the child shares with their parent or guardian will have no consequences.”
This should be one-on-one time without distractions or technology. She also encourages parents to observe their child’s gestures.
According to research by Albert Mehrabian, a UCLA psychology professor, 7% of a message’s meaning is conveyed through words. Non-verbal communication, such as a teacher’s tone of voice and hand movements, account for 93% of how the students learn.
“Parents should be calm and actively listen to their child and pay attention to the nonverbal language of their child. And to respond with love and acceptance and empathy,” Farrell said.
Parents should also be prepared for anything their child brings up, even for difficult conversations about anxiety or depression. Being accepting of their feelings helps foster a relationship built on trust.
“Understand that your child has been brave about sharing that information with you about what he or she is experiencing, thinking or feeling,” Farrell said. “It’s about giving that space, that trusting space for the child to be able to come to the parent.”
To help their children, however, parents must first be in a good place themselves, Farrell said.
“What children are going through may be a mirror reflection of what their parents or guardians are going through,” she said. “So, adults really have to take care of themselves so that they can take care of their own children … Children mimic the behaviors they see in their parents.”
She added that it’s OK for parents to admit to their children when they don’t have answers to questions.
“The important thing is to have hope and reassurance … it’s about saying ‘We can find answers together, we’re going to address this together. Help me understand. I want to keep you safe. I love you, I’m here for you,’” she said.