Dear Abby:
My husband and I have been married for 25 years. Right now, our marriage is in trouble because I have been ordered to rekindle a relationship with his mother, whom I haven’t spoken to in six years.
In my opinion, the woman is toxic. For 17 years, she has essentially stabbed me in the back. At my husband’s request, I forgave her each time. I love him, but I have come to realize he always takes her side. In his eyes, she can do no wrong.
Six years ago, we had an issue regarding her spanking my children. I asked to meet in a neutral location to discuss it, but she and my husband’s stepfather refused. To resolve the situation, I agreed to meet at their home under one condition: If an argument began, my husband and I would leave. We even drove there separately.
Upon our arrival, my father-in-law began screaming at me, so I left, and I’ve had no contact with my in-laws since. My husband says if his mother goes to her grave without this issue being resolved, he’ll never forgive me. I told him I did nothing wrong and I have no intention of rekindling a relationship with his mother.
To top it off, my husband and his mother have been putting ideas into one of our children’s heads, and now he is telling me I make everything awkward and I should fix the problem. Help!
Ganged Up On
Dear Ganged Up On: In California, it is against the law to hit a child. If Granny’s old-fashioned method of discipline is ongoing, you cannot reconcile with her, and the children should be kept away from her.
If this was a one-time incident, tell your husband you will forgive his backstabbing witch of a mother one last time. However, if she raises a hand to one of the children again, you will call child protective services and a lawyer because she’s a menace.
Dear Abby: I need help deciding whether I should attend a wedding. I avoid crowds for health reasons. My son’s girlfriend’s older sister is getting married. Although my son has been seeing his girlfriend for more than seven years, I have never met any of her family, nor have I been invited to any events. I suspect it may be career-related, although I’m now retired. The bridal couple is requiring all guests, male and female, to wear black. I don’t own a black suit. My guess is this invitation is a cash call. Your thoughts?
Undecided In California
Dear Undecided: Because you do not know your son’s girlfriend’s family and don’t want to buy a black suit, in addition to the fact that you avoid crowds for health reasons, you are off the hook. If you do receive a formal invitation, send your regrets and a nice card wishing the joyful couple a lifetime of happiness.