Thumbs: Green comes to the rescue

Democratic U.S. Rep. Al Green knows a political impeachment when he sees one. He tried for years to impeach President Donald Trump long before there was proven reason to. We assume he saw no similarities in the impeachment Republicans attempted this week against President Joe Biden’s Homeland Security chief, Alejandro Mayorkas. Disagreements on border policy don’t qualify as “high crimes and misdemeanors” and besides, Green told the Chronicle, he wasn’t going stand by and watch “a good man’s reputation being besmirched” — not even if he was lying in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery. Green, 76, stunned the political world — and certainly, the gobsmacked House Republicans — when he rolled into the chamber in a wheelchair, decked in hospital garb, to cast the tie-breaking vote that killed the impeachment, for now. U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene accused Democrats of hiding Green from Republicans, who wouldn’t have brought the issue up if they didn’t think they had the votes. Green said in interviews there was no conniving or pressuring. He said Minority Leader Hakeem

Jeffries offered to send transportation only after Green informed him he was about to catch an Uber to the Capitol for the vote. Green returned to the hospital, and we wish him a speedy recovery. We can’t say the same for Republicans’ far-fetched impeachment campaign.

The New York Times’ excellent profile of Lina Hidalgo, Harris County’s top elected official, revolved around the very serious business of her choice to be open about her mental health struggles — including her statements that, as a child in Mexico, she was sexually assaulted by a tennis coach; and that she considered stepping down as county judge, rather than taking a break for treatment. It’s a powerful read.

So forgive us for wallowing in the shallow pleasures of the funny details in that Hidalgo profile. Delightful detail #1: After her surprising election in 2018, at age 27, she “quickly became so recognizable a face in Houston that at times she had to wear a purple wig and glasses to visit the city’s art museums anonymously.” Because nothing says “anonymous” like a purple wig? Delightful detail #2: Hidalgo and John Whitmire, who’s been Houston’s mayor for weeks now and a state senator for 40 years before that, had yet to officially meet — which is kind of weird. Incidentally, Hidalgo also shared that before last month’s Houston Marathon, when she approached Whitmire for a hug, he responded with a stiff-armed handshake. A mayoral spokeswoman told the Times that Whitmire “was there to celebrate all the runners,” and besides, he’s more of a hand-shaker than a hugger. We can confirm. When a member of this board shook hands with Whitmire after a luncheon Friday, and moved in for a hug to see what he would do, the mayor did indeed stiffen his arm to keep the distance. It didn’t seem like a snub. It seemed like sound policy.

Speaking of sound policy, poor recall in a deposition or interview with law enforcement is often considered stealthy legal strategy. For Biden, it was considered more evidence that he's too over the hill to lead the free world. In Special Counsel Robert Hur's report explaining why he didn't recommend charges against Biden for willfully retaining classified documents, Hur cited Biden's poor recall during hours of interviews. At any trial, Biden would likely present himself to jurors the same as he did to investigators: "as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory." Makes sense. And he'd become all the more endearing if they showed the jurors pictures of the all-American garage apocalypse where sensitive Afghanistan documents were found: near a collapsed dog crate, an empty bucket and a broken lamp wrapped in duct tape. Uncle Joe really is one of us.

It’s been an up-and-down week for Texas’ feral hogs. Research recently published in Science shows that maybe the ugly, property-destroying porkers aren’t all bad after all. It’s long been believed that big invasive species wallop the ecosystems that they move into. But actually, the researchers found, large herbivores tend to increase the plant diversity, and feral hogs in particular have been known to double that measure of ecosystem health. That news broke at roughly the same time that Texas authorized exterminators’ use of the poisonous Kaput Feral Hog Bait — an approach that lacks the noisy grandeur of Helibacon, the outfit in Bryan that allows helicopter-borne hunters to shoot machine guns. Over in College Station, Texas A&M announced plans to convert a former Macy’s department store into a major e-sports facility. It’s apparently needed, given that A&M’s e-sports team, which includes both students and alumni, has more than 2,000 members. The facility will boast more than 400 game-station PCs, allowing for gimongous Valorant tournaments — and also throwing into question what it means, these massively multiplayer days, to be the Aggies’ 12th Man.

Meanwhile, Houston ISD isn’t giving in to the iGeneration, they’re trying to wrest control of kids’ precious screens. Students at Madison High School have staged days of walkouts over a new policy requiring them to dump their devices in a bin as soon as they walk through the doors. Never mind that those of us over 30 grew up without smartphones. In truth, HISD officials and the Madison students both say the rebellion is about more than digital distraction. One grainy video posted to social media shows the school’s principal stopping a fight by putting a kid in a headlock. A revolution is coming one way or another but district officials have their way, it’s not going to be televised, or on Reels.

Also: Hidalgo opens up; Whitmire isn’t a hugger; feral hogs targeted