HOW CAN I DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST TOXIC PEOPLE?

They hijack our thoughts, manipulate our behavior, and endanger our health: On average, 1 out of 10 of the people in our lives means us no good. But how can we recognize a toxic person? What types of toxicity are there? And how can we neutralize these ene

Alexander Urtula could feel the poison slowly spreading—day after day, week after week, month after month for 18 months. But the toxin was not invading his bloodstream; it was in his brain. Some of the text messages from his girlfriend, Inyoung You, must have felt like doses of pure venom, but his dependence on her and his fear of losing her kept on growing. As the district attorney would later tell the court, “Alex felt trapped, like he had no option but to stay with her because her life was in his hands.” Alex and his girlfriend exchanged tens of thousands of text messages during their 18-month relationship, by some accounts more than 75,000 in the final two months. While some of them expressed her love, others encouraged the young man to harm himself. On May 20, 2019, he jumped to his death from a parking garage.

Prosecutors say his girlfriend was on the top floor of the garage when he jumped but did not ask anyone for help. She only watched.

Alexander Urtula had allegedly fallen victim to a toxic person. His girlfriend is accused of poisoning his mind and soul—until his desire to live finally vanished. Prosecutors allege she demanded that he cut off all communication with his college friends and had threatened to harm herself if he didn’t. He’d become all too familiar with the threats of what she might do if he did not take her demands seriously and comply. She once wrote: “If you don’t f***ing read [my text] right now, I’m literally going to f***ing slash my throat and take