Letting go and just saying ‘yes’
Parenting in the modern age — full of convenience and technological luxury — one would think parenting would follow suit and days full of bonding with child and rearing him or her would far outweigh the dayto-day requirements of survival. We are not foraging for food and battling the outside elements, we are not reaping the harvest and painstakingly embroidering “Sunday best” clothing. Somehow, we’ve taken that privilege of first-world convenience and added to our plate and then loaded it all on our shoulders.
Maybe it’s just me (I’m pretty sure, I’m not alone), but the scheduler, taxi, cook, mediator is at many times a juggling act and it’s a fine line beneath to tread. What if that perfect balance goes astray? It’s not difficult to do. Campos Throw in one of
life’s many surprises and best laid plans are turned into let’s get through and when it’s just you and your husband, there’s not a safety net there to soften the fall.
We are independent and there’s a pride in self-sustenance and in accomplishment through due diligence; however, I am a believer in the “it takes a village” mentality for many things. There are those times in life when a community (however that is shaped) cares for its own and carries them through in their time of need: in birth, in sickness, in death … we surround our loved ones with sustenance and assistance and thoughtful well-wishes. It is with community I have survived through the seasons of my life and while I am blessed in many ways, it’s been a tumultuous few years to say the least.
Recently and unexpectedly I landed back into what had become almost a common occurrence a couple of years ago — in the middle of the night, walking alone into the ER, sick and at the end of my pain threshold.
This time, the outcome surprised me — an ambulance ride to the hospital in San Diego I had been released from a follow-up procedure the morning before.
I have been there before. I have walked up to that window alone and at wits’ end ready for the relief that just being in a place where I know I would be treated brings. Out of necessity, it’s been my burden more than once.
Why drag the children to unnecessarily wait for hours burrowed among the germs and malcontent?
We are alone in this great community filled with generations, but we have grown our own familial extensions. While we are lucky to have extended family stay with us when we can plan it ahead of time, when something unexpected happens it is the locals who have dropped everything and cared for our kids, they have brought food, they have visited me and brought well-wishes, they check-in during recovery, and it is with them we have weathered through those horrific storms. Whether born and raised here or not, I do believe it is an Imperial Valley mentality that encourages such behavior.
It is hard for the woman who tries to do it all to say yes, even in the most dire situation. We are used to our full plate and may even thrive in those situations. It’s something that I’ve learned over the years. Let them help, let them ease the day and let your recovery take its course.
There will come a time you can repay that favor if not for them, then for someone else. Again, I am overwhelmed with the generosity and kindness that surrounds our family. We are grateful and blessed to raise our family here and to call it home.