A stranger in a strange land

I’ve been living in California about four and a half years now, but I’m still trying to get used to some of the logic of the place.

For instance, in virtually any other place I’ve ever lived, it’s never been OK to drive on the shoulder of the road. Here’s it’s a passing lane.

In fact, there are road maneuvers executed in this part of the country that could be considered for a regular Discovery Channel series.

One particular favorite of mine occurred while I was waiting for a green light in the left turn lane at a local intersection.

I found myself looking at another car on my left headed the same direction as me and wanting to make the same turn, but from the oncoming lane of traffic.

I’d never seen that before. Here, I’ve seen it twice — at the same intersection. My wife and I like to joke that where coming to a stop before pulling into traffic is concerned, the front end of the car doesn’t count. I’ve become an expert at swerving.

Etiquette can be peculiar here, too. Loud mariachi music can strike at any time of day or night, on any night of the week. Grocery shopping can be a full-contact sport.

Grocery carts, it seems, are free community property.

But at least California has Proposition 65, aka the Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act, which requires warning labels for about 900 chemicals known to cause cancer or birth defects, regardless of how infinitesimal the amount.

This has led to me being deathly afraid of most consumer products, because, as luck would have it, almost everything seems to contain a substance known in the state of California to cause cancer or birth defects.

But at least it was still safe to drink coffee.

Or so I thought.

In March, a Los Angeles judge agreed with a small consumer advocacy group that coffee needs a warning label due to trace amounts of acrylamide, a possible carcinogen that is a byproduct of the roasting process.

So, better safe than sorry, right? Maybe, except that one is more likely to consume a higher concentration of acrylamide in a bag of French fries than in a cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, as California is busy making coffee shops redesign their cups to make room for warning labels, the state has failed to protect its citizens from being exposed to some of the worst air quality in the entire nation.

According to statistics from the American Lung Association, 90 percent of California residents live in counties affect by unhealthy air quality. This includes more than 8 million children and 5 million seniors.

Imperial County graded an F both in terms of ozone quality and particle pollution. It also has one on the highest incidences of asthma and other respiratory ailments in the state.

I grew up with one kid who had asthma. Now I know enough people with the condition to start keeping courtesy inhalers on hand.

Yet the state that managed to drag its heels for years on addressing the potential environmental disaster at the Salton Sea is the same one that’s trying to protect us from our morning lattes. Go figure.

All that said, there are many things I’ve grown to appreciate about California and the Imperial Valley, in particular. For one thing, there are tacos and burritos everywhere, and they’re almost uniformly good. I used in live in a place where Mexican food and Taco Bell were interchangeable terms.

This is the only place I’ve ever lived where people offer you a drink of cold water wherever you go. I understand why, but it’s still a nice touch.

But my favorite part is this: Not once have I had to use an ice scraper or a snow shovel before I could get in my car and go. At one point in my life I not only had to shovel to get anywhere, I had to plow.

That’s what I remember when people ask me how I’m coping with the summers.

I think they’re just fine.