When friends can cause anxiety for your teen

From body chemistry to brain development, pimples to pressure, the teen years are hard. Having a solid group of friends can smooth this time of transition, yet sometimes teens feel angst about their social circle, too.

“There is often anxiety about being accepted in a social circle,” said Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor and author. “They may question whether others in their circle are closer friends, and there’s the possibility of feeling left out, all things that are difficult for a teen.”

A positive and caring social circle is crucial in helping teens feel supported at a very challenging period in their lives, Slatkin said.

“Good friends make all the difference. Oftentimes, teen friends become friends for life as they share so many formative life experiences together as they grow into young adults. Especially if they don’t feel their parents understand them, it’s important to have a supportive social network so that they feel heard and validated,” Slatkin said.

A healthy social circle should include a variety of both close friends and acquaintances, Slatkin said.

“Isolating oneself in a clique is not advisable as it prevents one from developing healthy social skills and being able to relate to people that may share different interests,” he said.

As a parent, being a good listener is often more important than offering good advice for a teen who feels angst about his or her social circle.

“Don’t be quick to give advice. Let your teen feel heard and understood and validate their feelings. That is the best thing you can do to let them vent and feel like it is normal,” Slatkin said. “Once they can get to a calm place, they are more likely to discover their own solution.”