Mom longs to reunite family despite advice from friends
DEAR ABBY: I recently got into a huge fight with my boyfriend, which caused us to break up and me to move two hours away to stay with my mom. We have a beautiful 6-month-old daughter, and I still love him very much. He has begged me to move back and has shown me he still has feelings for me.
Because of past abuse from family and previous partners, I find it very hard to trust. I would love to go back, but I keep being told that it would be a mistake. I want to be a family again, but I don’t want the people who tell me it’s a mistake to be mad at me. Must I give in and stay away or follow my heart and go back? -- MIXED UP IN MISSOURI
DEAR MIXED UP: I wish you had disclosed more about the fight that caused you to move away and take the baby. It must have been a doozy. Was he cheating? Physically or emotionally abusive? If it was any of those, I don’t think it is advisable to reconcile.
Why are “people” advising you not to go back with him? Are their reasons valid? If they aren’t, perhaps you should worry less about pleasing them and more about accepting responsibility for your own choices.
Should you follow your heart? Yes, if it leads you and this man to a licensed couples counselor for help in resolving your problems before they get out of hand again, and deciding what would be in the best interest of your child.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I just got married. We have only one problem: his ex- girlfriend. She used to be my best friend, but we fell out years ago.
She hadn’t contacted him in a long time, but since she found out we got married, she has been texting him begging to meet up. She messaged me once asking for all of us to get together, but she messages him to meet her alone and “talk.” He ignores her and shows me the messages.
Should I step in and tell her to back off or ignore her as he is doing? I trust and love my husband, but she’s becoming a pest and starting to annoy me and him. -- TROUBLED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TROUBLED: Because silence hasn’t successfully conveyed the message that you and your husband aren’t interested in renewing the relationship, HE should be the one to tell her -in plain English. If he doesn’t do that, then you should.
DEAR ABBY: Last year was a tough one for me and my family. In addition to the COVID mess, I lost my best friend of 30 years, and one of my sisters- in- law lost her best friend of 50 years.
We were talking about each of our losses recently, and she mentioned that she has no pictures of her and her friend together. I said the same about my friend. Right then I decided that no matter how bad my hair, makeup, etc. looked, I wouldn’t shy away from having my photo taken. Sometimes we don’t realize how much a candid snapshot can mean until it is too late. Do you agree? -- MOMENT IN TIME IN TEXAS
DEAR MOMENT: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I have been guilty of photo-dodging, and I am sure many others have been, too. After reading your letter, I am resolving to do better in the future. Thank you!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Friday, March 12, 2021 Channel your energy wisely this year. Stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. Refuse to let anyone take advantage of you or what you have to offer.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Emotions will flare up if someone takes advantage of you. It’s in your best interest not to be too accommodating. Don’t worry if someone likes you.
Aries (March 21-april 19) — Set your sights on what you can accomplish, and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Leave nothing to chance when dealing with bureaucracy.
Taurus (april 20-May 20) — Stand firm and follow through with your plans. Don’t feel bad if someone doesn’t tag along; it’s up to you to make things work and find your joy. When one door closes, another will open.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You’ll find it difficult to separate your feelings from what you know to be accurate. Be realistic, prepare to work diligently toward your goal and be proud of your accomplishments.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Step into the spotlight and take charge. How you present your plans will determine the amount of help you receive. A money matter is likely to go south if you count on someone unpredictable.
LEO (July 23-aug. 22) — Alter your life because it’s what you want, not because someone pressures you. Connect with people who bring out the best in you. Let go of what isn’t working for you.
Virgo (aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Communication will bring good results. Ask questions and listen to the responses you get, and you’ll come up with concrete plans that will improve your life and an important relationship.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Pour your energy into something that excites you. The more you accomplish, the better you will feel about yourself and your future. Self-improvement will boost your confidence.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Less talk and more action will be necessary. Remove the clutter from your life, and focus on what’s best for you. Physical and emotional changes will take place if you set up a healthy routine.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-dec. 21) — Keep your emotions under control when dealing with personal matters and manipulative people. Be smart, disciplined and moderate when temptation puts you to the test.
Capricorn (dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You’ll gain insight into something you want to pursue. Start to make the changes that will help you use your skills, experience and knowledge in new and exciting ways. Set high standards.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Keep an open mind, but don’t make an impulsive move because someone else does. Listen to the voice of reason, set boundaries and do what makes you feel comfortable.