Imperial Valley Press

What is Love? (Baby don’t hurt me)


Ishould start this off with a disclaimer that I am in no way shape or form some sort of expert on love. I’ve only ever been in love once in my life (you know who you are, and I know you read these), so that hardly makes me any kind of guru, but I figured since tomorrow is St. Valentine’s Day I should weigh-in (bad pun intended) on what I think love really is compared to what the world or society tells us love is.

It seems that there is nothing but confusion out there these days. Dating sites are used to “find love,” but most times they relegate a person down to how attention-grabbing their profile is or is not or how “hot” they look in the profile picture they choose to post.

Sure, I think we all, as humans, appreciate beauty, but there are different forms of beauty. It is said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and that much is true because what some people find beautiful others might have an aversion to, or actually detest. For the sake of not making enemies or seeming judgmental, I’m going to keep some of the things I don’t find beautiful that others do to myself ( for now), but what I’m saying is: What our modern day society says is “beautiful” is usually only skin- deep.

My point is true beauty, and what love truly is, is not solely measured on Instagram by models, by social media likes on online pictures or posts, and definitely not in … what’s that smut- light site called again?

Ah, Only Fans. Definitely not.

Pointless “hook ups” get you nowhere. Sex outside of marriage is usually detrimenta­l to the mental and spiritual connection people are really looking for because it gives away pieces of yourself without true life- long commitment. “Kinks” are only passing fancies that don’t actually do you any good in the long run ( ah, there’s an aversion I can mention: 50 Shades of * barf *).

The more I try to amend my life the more I try to be “only a fan” of my Christ.

Why? Because I truly believe that God is Love.

One thing my dad taught me that will always stick with me is the definition of love and what it is to be a loving person; the ideal to hold oneself to in attempts at spiritual growth, which also affects emotional and psychologi­cal growth (I would say).

What am I talking about? “I shall show you a still more excellent way.”

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have ( gifts) and comprehend all mysteries and knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.”

“If I give away everything I won, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [ love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick- tempered, it does not brood over injury, [ love] does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.”

“[ Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

“Love never fails.”

If I – if you – want to be a loving person, I (we) have to learn to live up to that standard the writer of 1 Corinthian­s 13 has challenged me, us, – you –, to be.

Put your own name in place of “love” and that shows you what it is to not only have a loving attitude in general, but how to be truly loving towards someone.

“Roman is patient.” ( Welp, screwed that up already. Going to keep trying.)

“Roman is patient, Roman is kind. Roman is not jealous, is not pompous, is not inflated, is not rude. Roman does not seek his own interests.” Etcetera.

In his later years (which was by the time I was born), my father showed me a good example of what it is to be a loving person, by not only being loving to his wife of 46 years, and us as his children, but also literally taking 1 Cor. 13 to his grave ( a quote is etched in his headstone, along with my parents’ wedding picture, in a heart).

While I may be a “hopeless” romantic at heart, I actually have hope, both in Christ and in God’s plans for me. I want my future wife – whoever she may be – to know that while she might not on the outside, at first, what most might find physically attractive ( yet!), my heart and mind know what it is to love, what it means to protect, provide, and sacrifice in love ( as Christ did for his bride, the Church). This might seem premature but it’s never too early to let her know that I will cherish, protect and love her from the day of our vows ‘ til the day one of us is put to rest in the ground. After all, you can’t spell “Romance” without “Roman” now can you? ;)

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Be loving, and remember – youtu. be/-y9Py_OAjZM – You are Loved from Above!

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