Dinner guest doesn’t want smart speaker listening in
DEAR MISS MANNERS >>
I was recently invited for dinner at a friend’s home, along with several others. The host has previously mentioned that he has a smart speaker in the dining room of his home.
I understand that a smart speaker, unless disabled, will pick up and record conversations held nearby. I do not want my conversation at dinner to be recorded.
Would it be appropriate for me to tell the friend in advance that I expect him to turn off the speaker during the meal, and/or that I will not attend unless he does so?
Although hardly a tech expert, Miss Manners was under the assumption that smart speakers were usually there to provide music, not to record conversations in case of enemy infiltration.
While she finds these two things almost equally annoying in a dining room, where people want to talk, the former is not a crime. She therefore suggests that rather than accuse your host of espionage, you politely ask if the speaker can be removed so that you may
GENTLE READER >> better hear his guests.
But then, you should probably make sure all smartphones are similarly banished, because those will likely have the same recording technology as the speaker.
I grew up in an all-military community. My husband and I are not rich, but we made a vow to always pay the restaurant bill for men or women in military uniforms who are dining at the same time with us.
The last time, there were six military members in line to pay as we waited for our table. We walked up and told the cashier, who was also the owner, that we would be paying their bills.
I was a bit shocked at how high the bill was for only six of them, but paid it anyway. After the owner rung up our credit card, he proceeded to hand over several to-go bags to one servicemember who had ordered a bunch of food for his family.
We didn’t say anything, but I was upset that the owner or the person who ordered it didn’t inform us about the to-go order.
DEAR MISS MANNERS >>
We still continue with our vow of paying for meals for men and women who are serving our country, but I can’t help but feel a bit ticked off whenever the occasion arises. My husband said I should let it go.
While it is kind of you to do this, you must keep in mind that your recipients were not expecting it. They were ordering for themselves, not to take brazen advantage of your unanticipated largesse.
You cannot impose terms and exceptions — or expect unknown violations to be confessed retroactively. So Miss Manners is in agreement with your husband. She further recommends that if you are going to be ticked off when doing this in the future, you find another source of philanthropy — and make its specific terms known before you donate to it.
GENTLE READER >>
ACROSS 1
5
10
13 15 17
18 19 20 24 31
32 33 37 38 39
Bloke
“15 minutes could save you ...” insurer Stereotypical tattoo dedicatee Polygraph Battery variety
First quarters? Capitals’ and Senators’ grp. Place for lox Corp. leader Avoid like the ___ Attorney’s org.
Rene of “The Thomas Crown Affair” “This is harder than you’d think, OK?!” Sun, in Spanish Make bubbly Term of address that elides a “d” Native people in Utqiagvik, Alaska
Works such as Yayoi Kusama’s “Pumpkin” sculpture Diacritic that indicates nasalization in
Portuguese Throw or fling
Places to roll on the floor laughing 42 43
46
47 48
50 52
56 57
60 61
62 63
64
DOWN 1
2 3
4 5 6 7
8 9
10 11
Knight’s title “How much is this gonna set us back?” Arches and Zion, for two Indignation 17-syllable poems Section of a play
Like some wine and cheese
Sick
Forceful warning
Fish eggs Sweet parts of jams?
UFO pilots Director Coen
Flock females
Mention in a footnote Become well Name yelled by Rocky in “Rocky” Word before “project” or “hair”
Actor/ Tibetan rights activist Richard Reverberate “Who am ___ judge?” Calculate End of a threat
Fruity dip Hawaiian island where it rained for 331 consecutive days in 1939-’40 12 13 14 21 23
24 25 26 27
28 29
30 34 36
38
Like rams and bulls Drug that some take microdoses of Corona alternative “Same for me”
Ferry or dinghy
Shake up “That true?” As of yet Stacks at a publishing house
Black hair, brown eyes, etc.
Like an intense winter
“Feel me?” ___ mortals “Wicked Game” singer Chris Ruler who lived in Russia’s Winter Palace
Answperrsetvo
40 41 44 45
48 49 50 51
53 54
55 58
Proposes a date to Employee at a publishing house
Move through deep mud Where sheep graze
Employ
Tons
Naan flour Printer’s blue-green color
Wind that may be an eight on the Beaufort scale
Archer of myth
___ Moines Vaccine research org. Employ