Murrieta couple won’t let sickness ‘diminish their love’
In 1964, Donna Rovey went to a store in Pomona to pick up salad dressing. She was dispatched by her grandmother, also known for the purpose of this column as Cupid.
The man she was supposed to meet, grocery guy Don Mccullough, was so taken that he asked her out.
She declined, explaining she was engaged to a guy in the Navy.
Six months later, with the engagement off,
Donna went out with Mccullough.
“He was very handsome and very kind,” she recalled, confirming Cupid’s assessment.
They had tacos on that first date, something the Canadian native had never eaten before. Times have changed.
They were married 18 months later, their adventure made permanent.
They renewed their vows Tuesday, March 19, at Vineyard Place, a memory care facility in Murrieta, under very different circumstances.
Don, 85, lives there because he has Alzheimer’s disease. Donna, 81, still resides in The Colony senior community in Murrieta.
They were one of three couples to renew their vows during the Vineyard Place ceremony. They joined Sean and Stephanie Bosh, a memory care resident; and Johnson Espino, another resident, and his wife, Rosalinda Castillo Espino.
The Espinos are from the Philippines and have been married 28 years. Sean Bosh was a Marine deployed in the Philippines when he met Stephanie. They’ve been together 32 years.
Long marriages come in many circumstances, bonded by the vow to stay together no matter what life brings — even the agonizing loss of one partner’s memory.
Chris Balmes, life engagement director for Vineyard Place, said it was the first time the facility had hosted such an event.
“This means a lot to me because this will bring back good memories for them and remind them of their promises to love one another in sickness and in health,” he said before the ceremony. “Knowing that their other behalf has dementia, but that doesn’t diminish their love and they will continue to love one another till the end of time.”
Sixteen people attended the 90-minute event that also included a reception and refreshments. Fred Mattox was the pastor. Vineyard Place’s Executive Director T.J. Taylor played the saxophone.
“It was, like, perfect because the residents and the couples were so happy,” Balmes said, adding that the event exceeded his expectations.
The Mcculloughs lived in Upland and relocated in 1977 to Temecula, where they had citrus groves. She was an executive administrator; he was a bread company salesman. They moved to The Colony in 2018, when managing the groves became too much, Donna said.
He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020.
“It was hard to think that’s what was happening to him,” she said.
He moved to Vineyard Place in October.
“It was the right decision,” Donna said of the toughest of choices. “I put it off for a while, but it was time. With the stupid disease, the brain doesn’t work very well.”
Donna said they still have a good relationship, though her husband can get upset if she contradicts him. The adjustments people make to stay together.
Don often remembers his wife when she visits.
“He always asks me if I would marry him,” she said, clearly touched. “You have to go with the flow.”
That flow included renewing their vows after some six decades, their love still strong.