– Puzzled Pal
Dear Annie: My mother- in-law, who is 68, has a really bad habit of talking over me when my husband asks me a question. It is getting very irritating because I am trying to teach my 3-year-old daughter that it’s not nice to talk over people and to wait her turn. Am I wrong for getting mad at my mother-in-law? Is there a nice way to ask her to stop? Right now, when she does it, I just stop talking.
I haven’t said anything to her because it is an extremely sore topic for me. It’s not her fault that it’s such a sore spot for me, and that’s why I haven’t said anything. Isn’t it conversation etiquette to let the addressed person finish talking?
– Let Me Finish, Please
Dear Let Me Finish: You’re not wrong to be frustrated by your mother-inlaw’s constant interruptions. Yes, it is rude to cut people off before they have finished speaking, and when done to us, can make us feel less valued and heard in conversation. But confronting her behavior with silence won’t get this message across to her.
Since this seems to be a pattern, you might consider finally sitting down with her one-on-one and telling her that this bothers you. She might not realize she does this, or maybe she’s so excited to contribute to conversation that she doesn’t perceive her interruptions as inconsiderate. Either way, letting her know directly where you stand and saying your piece will tip her off that she needs to speak less and listen more.
Dear Annie: My best friend and I have been friends for about 45 years, and I love her dearly. We live about 1,200 miles apart. I’m always there for her, and sometimes she’s there for me, but not as much as I wish. I don’t need anything from her but a listening ear or advice. We stay in contact most of the time, and I have visited a few times and enjoyed the time with her and her family.
However, there have been many times I have texted or called her, and she hasn’t responded. Then, there are times when she does answer the phone when she has company, and she completely ignores the fact that I’m on the phone and continues to hold a conversation with them. I would much rather her tell me she has company or that she’s busy and will call me back. I have mentioned to her before how this makes me feel. But when she needs a favor, I hear from her several times till her favor has been granted, and after the favor, she ignores my calls and texts. This really hurts, and I’m confused. Am I taking it too personally?
Dear Puzzled: Between work, family, friends and other obligations, everyone is bound to miss a phone call or a text from time to time. But the fact that your friend doesn’t give you her undivided attention – or she will when it’s of benefit to her – is frustrating. Suggest a set time each week or every other week to chat on the phone or FaceTime together with no distractions. This consistent quality time catching up with one another can help bridge the physical gap and strengthen your bond with one another. One of these catch-ups would also be a good time to address the almost transactional encounters you’ve had with her, if they persist and you feel comfortable doing so. After four decades of friendship, I’m sure there’s very little you can’t openly say to a true friend.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
(March 21 to April 19) You might feel compelled to get involved on the “right side” of a seemingly unfair fight, but appearances can be deceptive. Get the facts before going forth into the fray.
ARIES
(April 20 to May 20) Bullying others into agreeing with your position could cause resentment. Instead, persuade them to join you by making your case on a logical point-bypoint basis.
(May 21 to June 20) Resist pushing for a workplace decision you might feel is long overdue. Your impatience could backfire. Meanwhile, focus on that still-unsettled personal situation.
(June 21 to July 22) Your aspects favor doing something different. You might decide to redecorate your home, take a trip somewhere you’ve never been, or even change your hairstyle.
(July 23 to August 22) You might want to take a break from your busy schedule to restore your energy levels. Use this less-hectic time
TAURUS GEMINI CANCER LEO
to also reassess your plans and make needed changes.
(August 23 to September 22) What you like to think of as determination might be seen by others as nothing more than stubbornness. Try to be more flexible if you hope to get things resolved.
VIRGO
(September 23 to October 22) Watch that you don’t unwittingly reveal work-related information to the wrong person. It’s best to say nothing until you get official clearance to open up.
LIBRA
(October 23 to November 21) With things settling down at work or at home, you can now take on a new challenge without fear of distraction. Be open to helpful suggestions from
SCORPIO
colleagues.
(November 22 to December 21) Your creativity can help resolve an emotional situation that might otherwise get out of hand. Continue to be your usual caring and sensitive self.
(December 22 to January 19) You could impress a lot of influential people with the way you untangle a few knotty problems. Meanwhile, a colleague is set to share some welcome news.
(January 20 to February 18) Aspects favor recharging your social life and meeting new people. It’s also a good time to renew friendships that might be stagnating due to neglect on both sides.
SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS
(February 19 to March 20) Congratulations. Your talent for working out a highly technical problem earns you well-deserved praise. The weekend could bring news about a friend or relative.
BORN THIS WEEK: Your sense of justice makes you a strong advocate for the rights of people and animals alike.