SAGITTARIUS
Dear Annie: I married a man who earned less than me seven years ago and now collects disability. He paid for cable and electricity way back when while I covered everything else. Over the past three years, I have received a few lump sums of money, one in the form of an auto accident payout and the other was an inheritance my father left me this past summer.
I have been more than giving in the relationship, and while my mother is probably rolling over in her grave, I have been honest about the amounts with him. I deposited the funds in my account and transferred them to a joint account we have, but I never touched it; it’s mainly for him. I am the only one making deposits into this account. His disability check goes into his account, and I have no issue with this.
He wants $20,000 of the inheritance money. I explained that I hoped to purchase a house because we currently rent, and I have to pay an inheritance tax (I file separately). I paid off several credit cards, gave him $8,000, and helped his daughter and her family. He remarks, “Yeah, I don’t have money like my wife.” And the two bills he once paid, I am paying now, so I cover everything. He will pay for dinner when we go out, but we took a recent trip that I paid for. A few months ago, I terminated him on two of my credit card accounts as an authorized user because he had the cable set up as an automatic payment on one, so technically, I have been paying the cable bill. I purchased a vehicle for him a few years ago, and he said he would make the payments; he didn’t. I paid off the car.
A part of me wants to give him $10,000 and ask him to leave. He asked me the other day if I was in love with him, and I told him no; he also admitted that he was not in love but is happily married.
This is my second marriage; I was single for almost 15 years before marrying him. We did split for a few months over the summer, and I told him that he had kept none of his promises. A death in the family caused him to return because our dog had puppies, and I needed someone to be here with them. And I gave him money when I sold the pups.
I know it’s more blessed to give than receive; however, I have already given way too much, and the only thing I have received is an open hand with more requests.
– All Spent Out
Dear Spent Out: Without a doubt, you’ve paid your fair share of the finances and then some over the course of your second marriage while your husband has brought little to the table. But there’s a difference between being helpful and providing for your family, and enabling his behavior. Enough is enough. No more bankrolling his lifestyle. There are many ways for him to contribute, monetarily and otherwise, starting with getting a part-time job within reason, keeping in mind his disability. Having him handle the cable and electricity bills again, and perhaps groceries, would be a step in the right direction. I’d also recommend sitting down with a financial planner who can help you two get more organized with your personal and joint finances in a way that’s fair. Considering this has been such a one-sided arrangement for so long, it could be quite refreshing to get a third-party expert’s perspective on the matter.
Money, however, is only part of this equation. You’ve both admitted you’re no longer in love, and I can’t help but wonder if this is purely a result of the financial imbalance or if other issues are also at play. If you both would be willing to genuinely try to repair things, a marriage counselor would be the perfect place to start a relationship revamp.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
(March 21 to April 19) A hectic period begins to wind down. Take time to draw some deep breaths and relax before getting into your next project. A long-absent family member could make contact as well.
(April 20 to May 20) You’re eager to move forward with a new challenge that suddenly dropped into your lap. But you’d be wise to take this one step at a time, to allow new developments to come through.
(May 21 to June 20) You’re almost ready to make a commitment. A lingering doubt or two, however, should be resolved before you move ahead. An associate could provide important answers to your questions.
(June 21 to July 22) Caution is still the watchword as you move closer toward a decision about a new situation. If you act too fast, you might miss some vital warning signs. Go slowly and stay alert.
ARIES TAURUS GEMINI CANCER
(July 23 to August 22) Your new goal looks promising, and your golden touch does much to enhance its prospects
LEO
for success. In your private life, Cupid does his best to make your new relationship special.
(August 23 to September 22) That impatient side of yours is looking to goad you into moving before you’re ready to take that big step. Stay calm and cool. Let things fall into place before you act.
(September 23 to October 22) A legal matter you hoped would finally be settled could be a pesky problem for a while until all the parties agree to stop disagreeing with each other. Be patient.
VIRGO LIBRA
(October 23 to November 21) Partnerships -- personal or professional -- which began before the new year take on new importance. They also reveal some previously hidden risks.
SCORPIO
So, be warned.
(November 22 to December 21) Your associates are firmly on your side, and that persistent problem causing you to delay some activities should soon be resolved to your satisfaction.
(December 22 to January 19) Favorable changes continue to dominate, and you should be responding positively as they emerge. Someone wants to become more involved in what you’re doing.
CAPRICORN
(January 20 to February 18) A friend wants to share a secret that could answer some questions you’ve wondered about for a long time. Meanwhile, travel aspects continue to be strong.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Stay on your new course despite socalled well-meaning efforts to discourage you. Rely on your deep sense of selfawareness to guide you to do what’s right for you.
BORN THIS WEEK: You have the capacity to meet challenges that others might find overwhelming and turn them into successful ventures.