Can older couples be happy without sex?

ENGLISH

Couples therapists have always claimed that a ideal relationship must have sex and love. These premises can sustain the union through time, even in old age, because age does not interfere with passion.

But a recent study conducted by the firm Relate (recognized in Great Britain for advising couples) considered a sample of 634 people between 51 and 85 years and concluded that one of every four couples older than 50 never have sex but they are still happy.

The researchers found that only 2% make love daily and one of every three couples make it once a week. Of those who already do not practice it, 43% miss it, but the remaining 57% don’t regret that the flame of passion has been extinguished.

Couples living in those marriages without sex revealed that love keeps them together and they point out that confidence, kindness, a sense of humor and good communication are more important than sex for the good health of their relationship.

The results of the study surprised even most experts. Many wonder how these couples exclude sex without affecting the relationship.

According to the therapist José Alonso Peña, these cases are not rare:

“There are couples, even younger, who do not give priority to sex because they have built successful relationships based on other aspects such as mutual caring, complicity, camaraderie.”

Carlos Pol, psychiatrist and sexologist, agrees that is normal at this stage of the life that many people value other aspects of the relationship.

“It is possible to spend months and even years without any sexual encounter, but they also take advantage of opportunities for intimacy, such as vacation or a special date.”

For Peña it is important to also weigh the years of the relationship that generate mental and emotional patterns that alter brain patterns.

Some couples, for whom sex was the cornerstone to the beginning of their many years of marriage, currently prefer a walk in the park, going to a bar, or enjoying a city. In many cases the point of break is menopause or male climacteric, which alter the libido. But if by mutual agreement they make the decision to leave behind that pleasure, lack of sex does not generate a physical distance, and they can enjoy a physical relationship full of affection and the link is not affected.

Pol, however, says that if some people feel frustrated, the couple should seek support. (La Semana)