Good guests have responsibilities, too

DEAR AMY >> During the current climate of hibernation and cautious socialization, it’s appropriate to prioritize your family’s well-being.

But may I say something in defense of hard-working hosts as well?

After a two-year hiatus, we restarted our annual Christmas party.

Asking guests to “vaccinate or hibernate” and other clear measures were taken. And of course, anyone uncomfortable should have politely declined.

I still ran into the same rudeness that has befuddled me since I began hosting social gatherings years ago, so I thought I’d share a few ground rules that should be revisited.

Maybe during this downtime, we’ve forgotten the “Duties of a Good Guest”:

You’re a guest, so act like one. Be a sparkling conversationalist. Or wear a festive sweater we can discuss. Bring a fun gift or story to tell. Guests DO have an obligation to not sit silent and sullen. It’s a party, folks.

If you cannot make it, immediately and politely decline the invitation. A lot of time and resources go toward planning a party and your hosts will appreciate this.

SHOW UP! Nothing stuns me more than the guests who enthusiastically respond, ask to contribute to the menu (sometimes insist), and then fail to arrive. A message may follow later that adds further insult: “I fell asleep” or “Our kids came back from college and we were catching up.”

Parties are not akin to restaurant reservations that you can cancel at the last minute when something more attractive comes along.

The pandemic has created a decline in the social skills of our young.

Let’s lead by example in demonstrating how to be a good guest.

— Harried Hostess

DEAR HARRIED >> I appreciate your “Good Guest” tips. Now, I’d like to add to/refute some of them.

Amy’s “Duties of a Good Guest:”

Pay attention to your health. Always remember that people you come in contact with at a party might also have an elderly/compromised/unvaccinated family member in their daily lives.

If you are not feeling well or have just learned that you were recently exposed to someone with an active case of Covid, regardless of your own vaccination status, give the host a call — even at the last minute — and let them know that you won’t be able to make it.

Don’t proselytize or publicly challenge other guests’ health-related choices.

Don’t offer me a share in your stash of online hydroxychloroquine.

Wear a mask if you want to.

Introduce yourself by name to people you haven’t met and ask them a question or two. Listen to their responses.

Don’t bring along your dog, unless invited.

Put your phone away, unless you are showing me pictures of your uninvited dog.

If you are feeling sad, lonely, pensive, or notparticularly “sparkling” on the night of the party — you can sit next to me.