Group texts flummox family member

DEAR AMY >> My extended family members prefer to communicate through texting. Group texts are routinely over 500 words long.

Full-blown fights and disagreements are communicated through texting.

If I telephone someone because I don’t enjoy typing on the phone, they won’t answer.

I recently found out that a family member had COVID. I learned this through a posting on Facebook.

When I responded to the Facebook post by saying I hope everyone gets better soon, I was yelled at by text for not texting my well wishes!

Am I obsolete? Is this normal?

I can’t take these text fights anymore, and my husband is so frustrated that he wants to end all communication.

I am OK with texting to a degree — you know: “Meet you at 10,” “Thank you for the gift,” etc., but long and drawn-out text chains about important issues is leading to more division and hostility.

What is the best way to deal with this?

— Frustrated

DEAR FRUSTRATED >> You seem to assume that whoever yells at you the loudest is correct. That might be the norm in your family but, generally if someone posts on Facebook, then a response to that posting is also appropriate on Facebook.

Regardless of the medium, if you don’t want to be yelled at or included in group fights among extended family members, then leave the room.

Just — slip away.

Group texts can be extremely disruptive, as your phone blows up, sometimes through the night. Group texts can also lead to misunderstandings, because people often seem to type faster than they think.

You can leave this virtual family reunion by doing a search on “how to leave a group text,” and follow the instructions for your device.

If you choose to do this, yes, you will miss out on some of your family’s roundelays, gossip, updates, and fights. 500word screeds might pass among family members, decrying your choice and accusing you of being a Luddite.

You won’t care, because you won’t know about these things.

Stay on Facebook if that works for you, and text or call individual family members that you want to stay in touch with. Also, send postcards, letters, telegrams or ice cream cakes. Communicate with others the way you want to.