Non-vaxxed neighbor considers options

DEAR AMY >> Occasionally, I get together with a few of my neighbors.

Recently these people have commented negatively about people not getting the COVID vaccine. I refuse to get this shot.

Should I admit my decision not to vaccinate and tell them about it?

Should I just not be their friend anymore? What is your advice?

— I Refuse

DEAR YOU REFUSE >> You have the right to roll the dice regarding your refusal to vaccinate against a highly contagious virus that is the cause of a global pandemic.

You do NOT have the right to withhold your decision — when you know this is important to people you have been spending time with.

You likely believe this is a personal and private decision, but — unlike other choices you might make this is a personal choice with communal consequences.

Their vaccinations would likely protect your neighbors from the more severe forms of this illness, but — they may have elders or other more vulnerable people in their circles who might not be so lucky.

Where I live, currently cases are way up and hospitalizations are down. But getting sick from this virus can have a huge impact on people who get it (and vaccinated people do get it). The symptoms can be lingering and severe, and they (and family members) will be forced to quarantine.

Whether you wish to attempt to continue on in friendship with these neighbors is up to you. But honesty is a necessary aspect of friendship, and so you should disclose your vaccination status, and give them the opportunity to reconsider in-person contact.

Given that you haven't disclosed something obviously very important to them, they may reconsider having a friendship with you, and you should prepare yourself for that.

DEAR AMY >> I'm laughing about your issue with the use of the term “maiden name.”

Aren't there bigger fish to fry? Some women, such as my daughter, took her husband's last name when they got married, so if she's filling out any legal paperwork, it will ask for her maiden name. What's the issue?

DEAR READER >> “Maiden” as a term refers — or implies a reference — to a woman's presumed “maidenhood,” or virginity. Some women really don't want our surnames characterized that way.