Husband's love has hit a wrinkle

DEAR AMY >> My wife of 40 years is a beautiful woman and always has been.

When younger, she turned many heads. To this day (when she wears makeup), she still is quite attractive.

The one caveat is that now that she is in her 70s, she has developed many wrinkles.

She frequently asks me if I think she is looking much older.

I would never upset her and so I fib and say “no.”

At times she will look at another woman who has lots of wrinkles and ask, “Do I have as many wrinkles as she does?”

I always say “...not even close,” although in some instances she does have as many.

Am I right to fib?

I could never see myself saying, “Yes, dear, you have a lot of wrinkles.”

I love her and it truly doesn't matter to me.

Your thoughts?

— Loving Husband

DEAR LOVING HUSBAND >>

You write this as though your wife has aged, but you have not.

You also seem to believe that the aging process, which is both natural and unavoidable, renders people unattractive.

If you have somehow miraculously not aged in these last 40 years, then your position as the

Rip Van Winkle in your family gives you the authority to be the wrinkle arbiter.

However, I'm going to assume that you are an average person and that you are showing your years — along with the rest of us.

If so, when your wife expresses her deep insecurities, you might identify with her, rather than behave in a way that is dishonest or disingenuous.

Say to her, “Honey, look at us both. Look at our friends and family members. Take a good look. Every sign of our age means that we are alive. Our lumps and bumps are reminders that we have the privilege of living in our bodies. Our wrinkles are the map of our experiences.”

And when your wife brushes off your lofty musings, definitely deliver a kindly fib.

All of this would be much easier — for both of you — if you truly believed your wife was beautiful (as is!), and could say as much with absolute sincerity.

I hope you can.

DEAR AMY >> I was disgusted by your response to “Worried Employee.” Worried Employee made a comment to her new co-worker after seeing a photo of the woman's cats on her desk: “I'd never have a cat. I just don't trust them.”

After the co-worker retaliated, you stated that she should be fired.

How would you feel if I looked at a photo of your kids and said, “I'd never have kids. I just don't trust them?”

If someone makes fun of my fur-babies, I'm going after them with everything I have.

DEAR DISGUSTED >> If you said, “I'd never have kids. I just don't trust them,”

I'd agree with you.

“Retaliating” by publicly trashing a co-worker on social media platforms would — and should — get you fired.