Husband resents wife for outdoing him

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my husband, unhappy in his job, decided he wanted to be a real estate agent. He quit his job to do full-time real estate, and really struggled. The dramatic drop in our income almost bankrupted us. He asked me to also get a license to help (I have a great office job). I didn’t want to at first because I knew I would end up doing almost all the work, but I did it anyway.

Shortly after I got licensed, he was offered a position at his previous company. It was a blessing, and he took it. I have been selling real estate in addition to my job and having a lot of success. I believe it’s due to my 20 years of office management experience and social media skills.

My husband is jealous. When I sell a home, he pouts, acts depressed or picks arguments around that time. Sometimes he gets excited and talks about how he needs to sell some houses. When he does, I encourage him and talk about how great he is at working with people, but ultimately he does nothing to make it happen.

I really enjoy real estate, and I don’t know what to do. — Paying the Price of Success

DEAR PAYING: Your husband may be jealous because you have outdone him in his (day)dream job. Or, he may be punishing you out of fear that you are becoming so successful you might want your independence. Keep going and do NOT allow his behavior to diminish you. None of what you have described is healthy for the future of your marriage. I’m hoping a licensed marriage and family therapist may be able to help you to navigate through this rough patch.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who doesn’t drive and constantly asks me to take her places. As a good friend, I do it. When I take her to an event, we agree on a time that we will leave, but she invariably stays behind to chat with other people 30 or 45 minutes past the time that we agreed on. In addition, she never offers anything for fuel. I’m thinking about telling her she will need to find her own rides. Am I wrong for this? — Over It in New Jersey

DEAR OVER IT: No, you are not wrong, but the next time it happens, try this: Tell your good friend you will be leaving the event at a specific time and if she wants to stick around and chat, she should find another ride home. That way you won’t be inconvenienced.