Old flame’s reappearance triggers doubt

DEAR ABBY: I recently got engaged to a man I’ve been seeing long distance for about a year. Then, out of the blue, an old military friend/ crush called me and told me he has been thinking a lot about me and is working on himself. He apologized for the times he ghosted me because he couldn’t handle relationships.

We talked for two and a half hours, and it was like we were back to our deployment and inseparable. It brought feelings I have never had before, but it also brought confusion and conflict. I love my fiance. He’s a great man. I don’t know what to say to the old flame. Can you help? — Confused in the West

DEAR CONFUSED: Tell the old flame you accept his apology for the multiple times he ghosted you and wish him luck in his self-improvement project, but explain that you are now engaged to a wonderful man. That said, you should not rush into marriage with anyone until you have doused this old flame and are confident in your decision.

DEAR ABBY: I am approaching 70 and I have been living a lie. I have two children who were born via artificial insemination by an unknown donor. Should I tell them, or take it to my grave? I have been divorced for 25 years and have no contact with their “father.” It was a choice we made because of his infertility. Now I’m torn about what to do because they still have contact with him despite his being verbally abusive. — Sleepless Nights in Arizona

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Your “children” are adults. Because of the popularity of DNA testing, it would be better if your children heard this news from you rather than from who knows how many half-siblings they may have. Infertility isn’t shameful. Tell them what they need to know.

DEAR ABBY: My local area TV meteorologists and reporters have a terrible habit of calling rainy weather “miserable” and cloudy weather “gloomy.” With so many horrible events in the news on a daily basis, reporting the weather this way seems irresponsible.

For some emotionally vulnerable members of our community, these negative words could be dangerous. — It’s Raining but Not Dreary in Delaware

DEAR IT’S RAINING: While some weather forecasters may speak off the cuff, others usually read from scripts. So whoever is preparing the weather forecaster’s monologue may need to be advised to use different adjectives.