Woman aims to offset sister’s bad habit

DEAR ABBY: I’m at a loss about how to deal with my sister, “Julie.” My issue is her constant and blatant storytelling. She has two young children and is recently divorced. While I feel terrible about her situation and have gladly been there to help her, her lies drive me up the wall.

I’m a proud aunt to my niece and nephew, and I do not want them to pick up this habit from her. I know Julie wouldn’t be willing to admit she has a problem, because she becomes extremely defensive when faced with anything she needs to work on. What can I do? — Unsure in Utah

DEAR UNSURE: There is nothing you can do to help someone with a problem they refuse to admit they have, but there may be something you can do to help her children. Model honest behavior, admit when you make a mistake, praise them when they emulate you and call them on it when you catch them in a lie. Then hope it will help them learn not to manipulate others.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee moved back in with me after living somewhere else for five months. She brought with her a puppy that will grow into a 50- to 75-pound dog. I made it clear to her that I wasn’t into raising a dog in my cramped space. She says she wants a house dog, but I think she wants an excuse to be homebound. How can I convince her that the consequences may end our relationship? — No Way in North Carolina

DEAR NO WAY: A 50- to 75-pound dog needs exercise and a yard. It sounds like your place has neither. Unless you want a stay-athome wife and a large dog, draw the line NOW. If you don’t communicate in plain English, your fiancee will continue to ignore your wishes and walk all over you.

DEAR ABBY: In your opinion, what would be a good way of responding to folks who email you saying “love you” or “I love you” when the sender is acknowledging a birthday? For instance, without going into specifics, I’ll send a text to the second wife of a close relative (a congratulatory happy birthday greeting), and she always responds, “Love you!” I don’t love this woman, and I find it hard to respond that I love her too, when I don’t. — Uncomfortable Out West

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Another way to respond would be to write, “Back at ya!” while resolutely fighting the urge to express that you DON’T love her, too. A simple “Thanks!” also would be appropriate.