Father’s firing leaves family in a bind

DEAR ABBY: My dad is the breadwinner in our family. A few years ago, he got fired for looking at “inappropriate” material at work. He described it as a raunchy comedy special. Thinking Dad was wrongfully terminated, I started calling law firms to see if he had a case. That’s when the truth came out.

Not only had he lied, but he also stabbed me in the back when I went to bat for him. In one stupid act, he managed to get canned.

Dad knows he has health problems, my mother also has several, and I have a chronic condition as well. I have no education beyond a high school diploma and have had no luck finding a job, so there’s no place I can move or even escape to.

I know I am suffering betrayal trauma. I would like to heal, but I don’t know how to begin. — Blindsided in Illinois

DEAR BLINDSIDED: It is now very important you gain some independence. Go online and research what jobs are available for people with a high school diploma.

Reach out to other relatives to ask if you could stay with them until you are financially strong enough to further your education and to get a place of your own.

If you need counseling, inquire at the county department of mental health about what is available. Then, once you are more stable emotionally and financially, consider learning about jobs that will pay more and what you will need to do to qualify for them.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is constantly berating my daughter, “Hillary,” about her looks, calling her a slob and telling her she needs to wear makeup and look “pretty” so she can feel good about herself. Hillary wants no part of girly things; she’s still a KID.

I agree that sometimes Hillary is messy and her curly hair gets in the way, but isn’t that part of being a child? Hair gets tangled in the wind, but we can comb it out. The main thing is, at least my daughter is playing in the wind. Right? Please help. — Sunshine’s Mom in Texas

DEAR MOM: It’s time to start memorizing the following speech: “Mom, you may mean well when you say those hurtful things, but it is harmful to my daughter. When you call her names and criticize her as you constantly do, it damages her self-esteem and, as a caring parent, I can no longer allow it. If you wish to see your granddaughter, you will stop denigrating her appearance immediately, or you won’t be seeing her … at all.”