Husband is more crybaby than caretaker

DEAR ABBY: I was just released from the hospital, and I suspect my husband is tapping his foot waiting for me to fix him lunch. He isn’t doing or saying anything overt, like “Get up and make me lunch,” but it’s more like he is whining about the options in front of him — peanut butter, frozen leftovers, etc.

I’m on a liquid diet and do not feel well. I may be well enough to get out of the hospital, but I’m far from 100 percent. My husband hasn’t offered to make me so much as a cup of tea. Instead, on my first morning home, he waited to get up until I had made the coffee and fed the cats.

We’ve been married for 40 years. He has been a good husband, but in retirement he has become selfish and petulant. I’m no longer sure I want to spend the rest of my life fending for myself with a babyman in tow.

Listening to him complain while I’m in pain, I want to cry. We’ve always been two strong-willed personalities, but I can’t push back right now — I don’t have the energy. I need him to take care of me, but I’m afraid saying that will bring more hard feelings than help. — Sick of It in Texas

DEAR SICK: The most important thing you can do is focus on your own health Next would be to open your mouth and tell your lazy husband EXACTLY what you need and EXPECT from him. This is what partnership is all about. And if he really isn’t up to it, you need to know so you can plan accordingly.

I am unsure whether you spoiled your husband or he came to the marriage fully self-entitled, but if he wants you on hand in case he gets sick or injured, this is the “investment” he is going to have to make now.

DEAR ABBY: My mom has this friend who I do not like at all. She’s a royal pain in the butt. She calls nonstop, even when we are about to have dinner. I tried blocking her number from Mom’s cellphone, but that didn’t last long. This woman is bad news. My dad and brother are annoyed by her. Is there any way to tell this person to just go away? — Can’t Stand Mom’s Friend

DEAR CAN’T STAND:

There is no way YOU can tell your mother’s friend to go away. There is, however, a way for your MOTHER to tell her not to call between the hours of 5:30 and 7:30 because it interrupts “family time.” Because your father is also upset, this is something he should consider discussing with your mother.