Women feels unloved in long marriage

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 32 years. I cannot remember the last time he asked me about my day, let alone my life, without a prompt from me. I feel ignored and emotionally neglected. After years of this treatment, I’m no longer willing to tolerate it.

He doesn’t engage with me verbally unless he has a question or a complaint. We do love each other, but we have very different personalities.

Our children are grown and out of the house. He is a good man. He tells other people how much he loves me and how beautiful I am, but he doesn’t say it to ME.

I do have a standing offer from an old flame who does talk with me and does tell me how fine I look. I would never disrespect my husband by having an affair, but maybe it would get my juices flowing again. Is there anything to salvage here? — Dissatisfied in Texas

DEAR DISSATISFIED: An affair might get your juices flowing again, but not with your husband, so I don’t advise it. You and your husband may love each other, but unless you are willing to stay on a starvation diet, it may be time to make some decisions about whether the status quo is how you want to live the rest of your life. Do not attempt to do this alone. A licensed marriage and family therapist should guide you — and him.

DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with an acquaintance who has now become a dear friend. I have at least one meal a week with her and her family. I suffer from misophonia, and they are always quite in tune, asking if the volume is too loud on the TV or whatever.

However, while we are eating, there is a lot of lip-smacking and openmouth chewing by my friend and her 17-year-old daughter. I love them, and I try to ignore it, but it’s extremely difficult.

I know it’s not my place, but is there anything that can be said? I worry about this girl heading off to college with such deplorable table manners. They are otherwise amazing friends. — Hears Too Much in New York

DEAR HEARS: I agree that atrocious table manners can be a handicap when young people fly the nest. You can, as tactfully as possible, remind your friend once about your hearing disorder and that it is magnified when she and her daughter chew with their mouths open. If that doesn’t help, however, you may have to stop being a dinner guest.