Mom wonders if steroids caused divide

DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, my oldest son, a police officer, quit talking to us. We had no fights, no arguments — he just stopped answering our calls, and I no longer was allowed to see my grandchildren. As the year progressed, he also alienated his sister and brothers. For the next three years, I continued trying to contact him or my daughter-in-law, who I also thought I was close to, but they wouldn’t return my calls.

Now, years later, my youngest son (also a police officer) has done the same thing! One minute, he was on the phone laughing and talking with us — then he called back, yelling about sticking up for his ex-wife and hung up! He, too, won’t return our calls.

My oldest has been on steroids, and I believe my youngest may be taking them now. I have gotten over the loss of the oldest, as it has been eight years, but my baby is breaking my heart. Do I keep calling?

My two other children are also stunned and hurt about

how their brothers treat us. We have always been good parents. I’m sure it’s the steroids, but I still don’t know how far to push it. — Completely Thrown in Nevada

DEAR COMPLETELY

THROWN: If your daughter and middle son are in touch with their youngest brother, they could ask what has caused this estrangement, and intervene. But there are no guarantees it will work.

I will point out that while some steroids are legal, others must be prescribed by a physician because they can be dangerous. Anabolic steroids — a prescription drug sometimes misused by bodybuilders to promote skeletal muscle building and improve athletic performance — can cause side effects, including “‘roid rage,” a state in which the user becomes extremely volatile and aggressive.

DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who is like a brother to me. He has no family, and during holidays my friend is always alone. My family does not welcome him to holiday dinners, so I’m always torn. I want him to celebrate with us and don’t want to leave him sitting alone at my house awaiting our return. Would I be wrong to spend the holidays with him instead of with my family? — Torn Heart in Pennsylvania

DEAR TORN HEART: Because leaving your friend alone dampens your enjoyment, consider alternating the holidays instead of skipping all the ones your family hosts.