Groups may help teen learn dating
DEAR ABBY: I’m 15 and my parents won’t let me date. I try to talk to them about it often, but they are convinced I’ll get hurt or lose my virginity. I think I’m old enough to have a small relationship. I don’t believe in premarital sex, and neither does the guy I like. I don’t want to date just because everyone else does. I want to date this guy because we are best friends and we want to see each other, hang out like teens and have a normal relationship.
How can I ease my parents into the idea of letting me date him? We have been together for almost two years — not dating — just seeing each other at school. We talk by texting. I want to be with him outside of school. Any ideas? — Ready to Date
DEAR READY: Like any other “skill,” being able to date successfully takes practice. I’d compare it to riding a bicycle. You don’t just get on and pedal off — it happens in stages.
Your parents don’t want “their little girl” to get hurt, and trust me, on some level you will always be their little girl. But for you to become socially capable/ adept, you should be able to start dating in groups. That’s how you will learn to handle yourself and the young men with whom you will interact. These lessons are important to learn at your age so you won’t be at a disadvantage when you are older. Perhaps this would be a persuasive argument when talking to your parents.
DEAR ABBY: I met my girlfriend a year ago and we are hopelessly in love. She has two beautiful boys, as do I, from a previous marriage. Recently, we moved in together in the house I owned after my divorce from my first marriage.
The problem is we argue every other day about things large and small. The biggest problem is her 6-year-old. She gives him no discipline. If I try to administer it, we fight.
Because she gave up her apartment so she and her children could move in with me, I would never want them to leave. We love each other, but we are both miserable. What should we do? — Singing the Blues in Florida
DEAR SINGING: You and your girlfriend need to agree to mediation so you can reach a compromise about your parenting styles. Start now, because if you don’t begin seeing eye to eye, I guarantee that you’ll both stay miserable, and it will undermine your relationship. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.