Amateur can run a dignified wedding
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young friend who is getting married this fall made an unusual request of me: to officiate at his wedding. I’m not a minister, but he is likely thinking of more like an MC.
I’m extremely flattered. I believe that besides his uncles and father, I’m his only friend of my age. All his other friends are more his age.
My wife says she doesn’t approve of such things as being married by unofficial people. She says it demeans the ceremony. But these people are not religious.
What does Miss Manners think?
GENTLE READER: That your wife’s objections are understandable, but misplaced.
No doubt your wife’s true argument is over you and your friend thinking of a wedding officiant as an MC — and therefore the ceremony as a sort of roast, rather than a dignified ritual.
Unfortunately, however, a minister is as capable of providing amateurish theatrics as a true amateur. Provided that you keep the ceremony dignified, Miss Manners has no objection to your presiding over it, with whatever authority may be provided to you on the internet.
If you feel that you cannot, then perhaps it is time to call in the professionals, as long as they are likewise vetted.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a Southerner who has an accent that goes along with my upbringing. I often come across people who grew up either “up North” or in areas far from the South who often will call attention to my accent.
Sometimes they seem charmed by it, but more often than not, the person in question seems to be making fun of it, and their comments are phrased in a way that is actually more of a put-down.
No one I know from the South would ever think of calling out someone with a Northern accent (considered rude), so I don’t understand this.
Can you please recommend a clever way to respond to these patronizing comments?
GENTLE READER: “Oh, thank you” (regardless of the intended nature of the comment); “I’m rather proud of my accent and heritage. Now tell me about your accent and heritage.” Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail.com.