STUDENTS AND PARENTS HAVE POLITICAL TALKS
other.
It will sometimes get to the point where we’re yelling at each other or swearing. But we know it doesn’t change the core of our relationship.
‘We couldn’t really agree on the facts’
black people.
During the presidential election, my mom was actively volunteering for Trump and was all fired up. She said things I didn’t agree with regarding crime and terrorism. It became an argument, but we were in the car on the highway, and I didn’t want to get into an accident. I ended the conversation and we sat in tense silence.
This summer at my mom’s house, they mostly watch Fox News. I’ll cringe a little bit. But mostly I avoid political conversations, because I don’t like fighting with my mom. In many ways, she’s a role model to me.
Wei: College definitely changed Jennifer’s views. The professors pour their ideas into the students’ minds — and it’s not just at Swarthmore. I live in Tampa, and the main college here is the University of South Florida. I heard from some friends that after the election, the professors said, “We will not have class today because Hillary lost.” I just think it’s ridiculous.
I do respect Jennifer’s views and hope she respects mine. I totally understand why she thinks all these beautiful things: that everybody should be equal and rich people should give away all their wealth to the poor. In China, I was told that was the way society should be. But since I’ve lived in the United States of America for over 20 years, my view has changed.
As a mother, I love my daughter no matter what. Maybe we will have different political views or a different lifestyle in the future, but I do love her unconditionally.
‘She doesn’t always respect my vast experience’
a school or someplace else, you shouldn’t go there. But I’m of the opinion that you should be able to go wherever you want to go.
We’re on a cruise together right now, and we just got into a political argument last night. We’ll definitely yell sometimes. My dad will get upset and keep saying his point over and over again. My mom will just walk away. But we never stay mad for long.
Kimberly : She is so good at heart. But there are still times I wish there was some more hardcore practicality to her views. I wish she would listen and learn. I have a degree in African studies and biology and participated in many movements. She doesn’t always respect my vast experience.
I can’t afford to make my blood pressure work in order to really get her to understand, so I will quite often back down. I will wait for the right situation to teach her the lesson I need her to know. Sometimes, kids are just that way.
‘We’ve always had very frank conversations’
Callie: June was pride month, so my mom and I talked a lot about LGBTQ. issues. I identify as female. I don’t use labels like “gay” or “lesbian” most of the time, because people are going to call me whatever they want to call me.
When trans issues first started coming up in my family with my mom and stepmom, Lynn, one of them was more apprehensive at first. But then she started watching “I Am Jazz” (a reality show about a transgender teenager) on TV, and she became a lot more aware.
At the same time, my mom also will sometimes say, “I wonder how many of these people who are coming out as trans are actually trans. Is it because trans now is more acceptable?” She’s very butch and says she sees fewer and fewer butch lesbians.
I understand them being older and not quite understanding the difference between gender and sexuality. Gender is how you identify as a person. Sexuality is who you are attracted to.
Lynn: She had to come home this summer because we couldn’t pay to hold onto her apartment. She is miserable. She was on Facebook and said something along the lines of, “I can’t wait to move back to my apartment where everything is as gay as I want it to be.” And we were like, “We’re gay!”
Unfortunately, she has had a lot of homophobia on her college campus. She’s really out and she’s suffering from that.
She’s taught me and her mother a lot about the trans issue. Pronouns have been a conversation piece. But my partner and I have conversations. What is wrong with being a lesbian? Why do you have to conform to social norms by being a man? I wanted to be a man when I was 19, but I’m really glad I didn’t do that.
We’ve always had very frank conversations at the table. We do not want to be those parents who you can’t talk to.