Sex during breakup no reason for guilt
DEAR ABBY: Iama 17-year-old senior and have been dating the same boy for two years. A month ago, he told me he wanted to break up “because he needed some time to figure out what he wanted.” I was devastated but agreed. Two weeks later, he told me he was sorry and he loves me.
We are back together now, but the weekend after our breakup, I went to visit a college girlfriend. We went to a party, and I ended up having sex with a boy I didn’t know. I feel guilty and unworthy. What should I do? If I tell my boyfriend, I’m sure I’ll lose him. If I don’t tell him, I’ll always worry that he will find out. — Unworthy in the Midwest
DEAR UNWORTHY: You are acting like you have something to feel guilty about. You don’t. At the time you visited, your boyfriend had broken things off. You do not owe him an explanation or a confession as long as you haven’t given him an STD.
DEAR ABBY: I’m vegan and make a point of being polite to servers. I carefully describe what I would like to eat from their menu. Although they appear to be attentive, half the time they serve me a meal with an added touch — a scoop of sour cream or sprinkle of cheese.
When it happens, is it fair to send the food back? Or is it better to scrape the unrequested item off of my dinner? I don’t want to waste food, and I would like my meal prepared to my specifications. — Vegan in the West
DEAR VEGAN: You have every right to send a meal back if it wasn’t prepared the way you requested. You are paying for your food, and you should not have to scrape anything off it. Some people with dietary restrictions carry a laminated card that lists the foods they cannot eat. It is shown to the chef by the server. You may want to try it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband died recently. We didn’t have children. His family keeps inviting me to lunch, movies, etc. I have nothing in common with them and no longer want to spend time with them. When I politely bow out, they suggest another date, and another and another. How can I get them to leave me alone? — Enjoying My Solitude
DEAR SOLITUDE: Your former in-laws mean well, and many would consider you fortunate that they try so hard to remain close. Keep in mind that you are their last tie to their son. However, because your polite refusals aren’t getting through, tell them that while you appreciate their gesture, you are not lonely. In fact, you enjoy being “alone with your memories” and you will contact them if you change your mind.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.