Share concern about fiance with sister
DEAR ABBY: My youngest sister started dating a man and they quickly moved in together. Six months into their relationship she got pregnant and they got engaged. Their wedding is this summer.
Recently she discovered he has been video-chatting with someone he met online. He admitted to flirting, apologized and promised that was the end of it. I have a strong suspicion that there have been other “situations” my sister is unaware of.
Should I express my concerns to her and suggest postponing the wedding?
I’m afraid she will get married and then find out what’s really going on. — Big Sister in Massachusetts
DEAR BIG SISTER: Be honest with your sister. Although I suspect that your gut feelings are accurate, whether she will believe it is debatable, but at least she will have been warned.
DEAR ABBY: After my mom passed away, my dad lived alone for three years until his death. During those three years, Mom’s family not once made contact with him or me. Dad lived in a very small town. When he would see Mom’s sister and her husband out and about in restaurants and stores, they would ignore him.
After Dad’s death, my aunt contacted me asking if she could have a rocking chair that belonged to my mother. I agreed they could have it. To my shock, when my uncle arrived to pick up the chair, he began asking me about my dad’s belongings. He wanted to look through Dad’s tools and such. After making no attempt to contact Dad while he was alive, now my uncle had the nerve to ask to look through Dad’s things? I politely shut him down.
Since , my aunt has been bad-mouthing me all over town. What should I say to set the record straight without appearing as the bad guy? — “Orphan” in the South
DEAR ORPHAN: Memorize the first paragraph of your letter to me and recite it verbatim when the subject of your relationship with your aunt and uncle comes up. Because it’s a small town, the message will spread quickly.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I want to go to Europe this summer, but we don’t want to take his mother along. We have taken her on two holidays over the last two years and didn’t enjoy either one. She now expects to go with us on our international vacations, and we don’t know how to tell her we prefer to go alone. — Holiday for Two
DEAR HOLIDAY: What your husband should say is, “Mom, my wife and I will be going to __________ for a few weeks in early August. We need an ‘adventure’ alone together, so we will not be asking you to join us.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.