Woman’s son plans to stay with gay uncle
DEAR ABBY: My brother, “Kevin,” came out at the age of 30. Now, 20 years later, I have a son who would like to stay with my brother for a few months while working a job nearby. We have never discussed that Kevin is gay. No one ever asked me about it other than my mother, who goes on and on about “how could this have happened?”
I love my brother for the kind, loving, hardworking person he is. He is always welcome in my home, but my parents refuse to accept any of his friends, so he never brings anyone along. People still sometimes ask me if they can set up a girl for Kevin to date. He told me that if anyone questioned me about his sexual orientation to tell them to ask him in person.
Should I talk to my son about his uncle being gay before he moves in with him? — Cautious in Pennsylvania
DEAR CAUTIOUS: If he and his uncle have agreed on the living arrangement, the chances are good that the subject has already been mentioned or is not an issue.
DEAR ABBY: I know a girl through work I’ll call Lydia. She is a hard worker and a great mom and wife. Everyone thinks she has a perfect life. If anyone has a problem, they go to her.
Not long after I started working here, there was a terrible tragedy in Lydia’s family (it didn’t involve her husband or children). She is very depressed and doesn’t seem to be able to pull herself out of it. How can I get her friends — or anyone — to help her through this?
I feel terrible for her. I have only been at this job six months, and I don’t really know anyone. She never talks about it at work. But I can see the difference in her. — Lending a Hand in New York
DEAR LENDING: You are kind to want to help Lydia. Because you are concerned about her, speak to her privately. Tell her how terrific you think she is, and you know she has been going through a difficult time. Then tell her that if she wants to talk or there is anything you can do to help, all she has to do is let you know.
DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to drop my girlfriend off at the door of a restaurant and park the car? When I walk in, she is already seated, and I have to look for her. — Rude in Michigan
DEAR RUDE: If the weather is bad, leaving your girlfriend at the door is considerate. If having to look for her bothers you, she should tell the host or hostess that her friend will be in in a minute and to please let him know where she is seated. She should also keep her eye on the front door and flag you to where she is sitting.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.