Asking strangers’ age is inappropriate
DEAR ABBY: My wife constantly craves compliments about her age. When we meet people, she regularly asks how old they are, which I think is rude and inappropriate. Then she asks me if I know how old they are, and I say “no” because I don’t think it’s any of my business. Shethenasksthem,“how old do you think I am?” Almost always they guess low, which makes her happy.
She thinks there’s something wrong with me for not being curious about someone’s age. Abby, is it appropriate when meeting someonetoaskhowoldheorshe is? To me, it’s like asking how much they weigh. — Minding My Own Business
DEAR MINDING: Many people dislike being asked theirage,andtoaskthat question of a stranger is not appropriate. That your wife raises the subject because she seeks validation about her looks is sad.
DEAR ABBY: Whenever the opportunity presents itself, I donate one of my framed oil paintings for fundraising. On one of these occasions, my friend and her husband purchased raffle tickets and won my painting. They happily took it home.
Months later, there was to be a silent auction at an event. My friend asked if I would mind if she donated that painting to it. It disturbed me that she obviously didn’t care to keep my painting, but I told her that it was hers to do with as she chose.
To this day this incident stirs up resentment because she obviously didn’t wish to keep my artwork. Am I childish to harbor this disappointment? — Dejected Artist in California
DEAR ARTIST: If your friend hadn’t liked your painting, she wouldn’t have bid for it. For whatever reason, it didn’t work for her. Resentment is a disease that eats away at relationships. Let it go.
DEAR ABBY: Iam14and have started dating a guy. “Jake” is really sweet and nice to me, but he also has some depression. I feel like if I break up with him, he will start hurting himself. I really like him, but my parents also don’t know we are dating. He wants to be together forever, but I’m not sure what’s best for me. — Teen in Colorado
DEAR TEEN: Tell Jake that your parents don’t want you dating until you are older. It is no reflection on him; it is the truth. Explain that, right now, you plan to focus on school and sports and suggest that it wouldn’t hurt him to do the same. If he reacts by threatening to harm himself, tell your parents or a trusted teacher so they can inform his parents and he can get the emotional support he needs, and possibly professional help.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.