Fling turns real, threatens friendship
DEAR ABBY: My friend “Lauren” and her husband separated for a few months last summer. During the separation, she had a short fling with my friend “Zack,” whom she met at my house. Lauren decided to continue her marriage and, obviously, chose to stop seeing Zack.
A few months ago, Zack came to a party I threw. Everyone had a few margaritas, and as the night ended, I found myself having sex with Zack for the first time since our friendship began 10 or so years ago.
A week ago, Zack confessed that he may be in love with me, and I feel the same way toward him. I told Lauren, since my relationship with Zack is getting serious. She reacted terribly. She was furious and accused me of “betraying” her. She said I should have known how she felt about him and that I’m a terrible friend for having sex with him, let alone falling in love. Are her feelings justified? — Accidentally in Love
DEAR ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE: Lauren’s feelings justified? Heck, no! If you and
Lauren are still speaking, “remind” her that when she went back to her husband, she relinquished all claims on the man she slept with in the interim. He’s entitled to a life and so are you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a student at an art school, and
I’m struggling with anxiety and depression. I have been on lockdown in my hometown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, isolated from my friends and unable to socialize with others. What should I do? — Anxiety-ridden in Atlanta
DEAR ANXIETY-RIDDEN: Welcome to the club! If you think you have been alone in experiencing these emotions, you couldn’t be more wrong. Many people feel just the way you do — anxious, isolated and depressed.
You can manage negative emotions by getting out of the house and exercising
— alone or with friends or neighbors — while staying a social distance apart — and keeping in touch with friends and classmates using your computer and cellphone. There’s no reason you couldn’t collaborate with some of them on an art project.
Remind yourself that this quarantine is temporary. Unless you have an underlying health condition or someone in your household does, you can mingle with others wearing a face covering and keeping your distance. From what I have been observing, some relationships have been strengthened as people reach out to comfort and help each other. A surefire way to overcome the blues is to start thinking about what you can do for someone else.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.